05/18/2026
I hit the jackpot tonight: My dad brought me dirt. Not just any dirt but dirt I spent the first 20 years of my life in. Running my hands in it tonight felt like connecting to a portal that I left behind 18 years ago.
These days, I’m finding myself buying The Old Farmers Almanac’s guide to vegetable gardening and questioning “why” when it comes to anything we are doing or consuming.
I never imagined 38 would be the year of being diagnosed with Tourette’s but this life’s antics are getting pretty humbling and humorous. I’ve been through quite the rabbit hole of weird but livable neurological issues the last few years and developing a progressing tic disorder in the last 6 months has been a wild ride for sure. 😳🤣 🤷♀️
In an effort to try to calm my nervous system, I’m attempting to prioritize putting my hands in dirt. Maybe it’s science, maybe it’s God. I personally think science is just the human attempt at explaining God’s amazing creation. But along the way I’ve heard something about microbes 🦠 and other benefits of being in the dirt.
So when I called dad to ask if he could spare a load of dirt for my garden bed, he said the hilltop north of the single silo, where we fed large round bales to groups of cattle for decades would be the dirt I wanted. Dad “retired” a couple years ago so this area has been self composting into the most beautiful black dirt.
Not only did he share, but he delivered. And with a dump bed! Jackpot is an understatement.
I spent the entire evening writhing this beautiful rich soil in between my hands, crumbing it in my fingers. Pushing my hands down into it, up to my elbows, to find the soft clumps to break apart in the most satisfying way. The years of hay has composted with the topsoil and manure to create a microbe and nutrient haven. My hands will be sore tomorrow but I just couldn’t pull them away.
It felt like I was connecting to a world I’ve been missing but had forgotten.
Science is cool but God’s intricate design is pretty amazing.
Thanks again Dad. ❤️
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This photo of our youngest, quite literally soaking in the dirt is just a bonus.
