18/09/2024
The term makoti is a Southern African Nguni language name, referring to a bride, a newly married woman, a daughter-in-law, which is a term used by the family of a woman's husband to refer to her.
There is a popular belief that this term is derived from Afrikaans language Maak ons Tee (Make us tea) or the English, Maker of Tea.
Makoti is a new family member brought along by a son through marriage, with the intention of building future with her.
The ilobola (Nguni) or bogadi (Setswana), a bride's wealth or dowry, is a transaction used to initiate and introduce a makoti into her new family (her husband's).
It can be paid in either a negotiated number of cattle or a cash amount. The recipient of bogadi is the father of the bride, historically in a form of cattle. Culturally, 'the cattle has symbolic religious significance in that cattle represent the continuing prosperity of the community' (Thorpe 1961:63) Giving birth to daughters is a possibility of wealth that comes through bogadi, while giving birth to the sons is a possibility of extension of the family, which is a sign of prosperity.
The makoti is perceived as the extender of the family (moaga motse) and a giver of prestige to the family of her husband. On the other hand, a son-in-law, who is not shouldered with burdensome responsibilities like the daughter-in-law, is expected to subconsciously serve his in-laws, hence in Setswana they have a proverb that says mogwe ke mokgabo (a son-in-law is a prestige).
When bogadi transaction is completed, the makoti's family gains a son while mogwe's family gains a daughter. Makoti becomes part of her husband's family, and this joining is carried out socio-religiously for the dead and the living to acknowledge, accept and bless her.