01/17/2024
A couple weeks ago, I met a man on Bumble who shared with me a 3-page document he had carefully written to define and understand the qualities he most desired in a partner.
I admired his document, the kind of relationship he was seeking to create, his clarity, and the vulnerability of his sharing this document with me.
He and I were not fully aligned to continue our exploration, though it was a lovely experience while it lasted.
Today, as I pondered the next chapter of my own journey, and the kind of relationship and connection I would like to call in, I sat down to draft my own 3 page document.
I share it here as a declaration to the universe of what I am calling in, as well as a vulnerable gift to anybody who may be inspired to find their own clarity, take the time to be with their intentions for relating, and perhaps even create their own document (however many pages it may be).
What would you add? What seems unnecessary or unreasonable to you? How would you design your own document? How would you write your ideal love story?
“I crave rest. Snuggles by the fireplace. Dancing and touching and being swept into all textures of love, connection, and playfulness. I yearn to melt into devotion to a man who inspires me, impresses me. Who has a mission that’s perfectly complemented by me being at his side. I crave being wholy accepted in my true nature. My intensity, my badassery, my wanderlust, and my homey affection.
I long to cook together. To dance in the kitchen and sing, and smack each other’s butts in passing, to be swept into his arms and dipped in passionate play.
I get to feel cherished. Chosen. Honored. I get to admire and respect him. To feel safe. To feel turned on, connected, witnessed, and adored.
I get to feel profoundly met. Understood. Given the benefit of the doubt. Respected. I get to give my heart openly, intensely, powerfully. I get to throw the most gorgeous and epic love at him, full, force, unrestrained, free.
I get to watch him fall in love with me so intensely, it makes me ache with the power of it. I get to be well fu**ed, over and over, bodies trembling, and nourished, and aching for each other, ever reaching to close the distance between us.
I get to lower my guard as he reveals himself to be all in, fully present, fully expressed, fully ready to champion my heart, my devotion, and my vulnerability. I get to watch him open to me, bravely, confidently, stepping into his full truth, his full expression; all-the-while attuning to each other, honoring each other’s needs, boundaries, and desires, every bit as much as we honor, and reveal our own.
I get to unwrap and discover him, bit by glorious bit. Falling in love with the light and dark of him, feeling deep reverence for his journey, his growth, and his heart. I get to look at him with wonder, so enchanted and grateful for every heartbreak and lesson that aligned me to his path, that shaped me into the woman who is worthy of his devotion, loyalty, and connection. I get to fiercely guard his heart, to build his confidence, inspire his greatness, protect and nurture his tenderness, and call for his potential and expansion.
We get to grow together. To push and pull each other into greatness, into self-care, into love, into rest and peace, into adventure and discovery. We get to motivate each other to be healthy, to live lives of authenticity and intensity — to live full out. To dare more bravely for the encouragement we offer each other.”
