Charissa ADHD af

03/03/2026

The Wasp in the Wall

We live in an old house.
And this year, the wasps didn’t leave.

They’re in the walls.
In the vents.
Stinging my kids.

And I hate killing them.

I don’t kill for sport. I don’t waste life. I don’t enjoy taking anything God created.

But I kill these.

Not because I’m cruel.
Because I’m responsible.

If I let them stay, they sting again.
If I ignore them, they multiply.
If I protect the wasp over my children, I’ve confused compassion with negligence.

It doesn’t feel good.

But love isn’t always soft.

We’ve forgotten this.

We think boundaries are hate.
We think protection is aggression.
We think refusing harm is cruelty.

It’s not.

There is a difference between enjoying destruction and reluctantly confronting what harms what you love.

The wasp isn’t evil.
It’s doing what wasps do.

But my job isn’t to preserve what harms my house.
My job is to guard what’s inside it.

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” — Proverbs 27:12

Sometimes protection is uncomfortable.
Sometimes stewardship is ugly.
Sometimes doing nothing causes more damage than decisive action ever will.

I don’t celebrate eradication.
I don’t brag about it.

I handle it.

Because love defends.

And if we can’t grasp that sometimes hard things prevent worse things…
we will keep getting stung.

02/25/2026

Seeking Approval From Weak Minds Is Weakness

How can we not see it?

We seek approval from the very culture we claim is broken.

We say the world is weak-minded…
yet we bend ourselves into pretzels hoping it claps for us.

We are offended by everything.
Teachers can’t correct.
Coaches can’t push.
Standards are “mean.”
Discomfort is “trauma.”
Accountability is “toxic.”

And then we sit back and ask why mental health is collapsing while resilience is disappearing.

We banned hard words.
We encouraged excuses.
We removed pressure.

And then we’re shocked when people crumble under normal life stress.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

If you constantly need validation from fragile systems, you will become fragile too.

Approval is addictive.
It feels safe.
It feels good.
It feels like belonging.

But when you start measuring your worth by applause from people who don’t live the kind of life you respect …that’s weakness.

We are speaking joy and validation in the wrong spaces from the wrong people.

You don’t need the world to clap.

You need discipline.
You need grit.
You need to stop outsourcing your strength.

Get tougher.
Work harder.
Stop being offended by everything.
Stop looking for permission to be strong.

Save yourself.

Because no culture, no trend, and no comment section is coming to do it for you.

It’s that simple.

02/06/2026

Im not a good Friend.

I’m not a bad person.
I’m just done pretending.

Yes, I have ADHD. That means I forget to check in, disappear for stretches of time, and don’t maintain friendships the way people expect. My brain doesn’t do “consistent social upkeep” well — and I’ve accepted that.

But let’s be clear:
ADHD isn’t the main reason I don’t prioritize friendships anymore.

Betrayal is.

I’ve been burned by the people who were supposed to be safe. Deeply. Repeatedly. And once you see how quickly loyalty disappears behind closed doors, you don’t unsee it.

So I closed myself off. On purpose.

Because most friendships these days aren’t built on loyalty — they’re built on proximity, gossip, and shared drama. You’re “close” until you’re not in the room. Then you’re a topic.

I’m not interested in that.

I don’t want relationships that require constant access to me, constant reassurance, or constant explanation. I don’t want friendships that feel like emotional labor or social surveillance.

And I’m no longer apologizing for choosing peace over people.

If I’m distant, it’s intentional.
If I’m quiet, it’s self-protection.
If I’m selective, it’s because I’ve learned the cost of access.

I still love deeply. I just love quietly now.
I don’t chase. I don’t over-explain. I don’t beg for understanding.

Call it cold.
Call it guarded.
Call it “not a good friend.”

I call it peace.

02/03/2026

I come off cold sometimes. That’s not my personality — it’s a learned response.

I have ADHD with severe emotional dysregulation, which means “minor conflict” can feel like a full-blown nervous system emergency. Things hit me hard. Everything feels personal. And it takes time for me to regulate instead of flipping tables in my head.

Now — before anyone gets brave — yes, some people have genuinely been as****es to me. That part is real.

Here’s where people get confused: even after someone does me wrong, I can come back, be cordial, and sometimes even rebuild a relationship. But only after accountability.
I take accountability for my own mess. Always. Sometimes it takes me a minute — but I get there.

What I will not do is play fake-nice with someone who hurt me and wants to pretend nothing happened. That’s not forgiveness — that’s gaslighting myself.

Yes, Jesus forgave. I’m not Jesus. I’m doing my best with a dysregulated nervous system and a criminal record I’d like to avoid.

People love to say, “I thought you didn’t like them? I thought y’all didn’t get along?”
Correct. They took accountability. I chose peace over chaos. Growth happened. Wild concept.

Let me be clear for the people in the back:
Not arguing with someone does not mean I forgot what they did.
It means I regulated, set boundaries, and decided I don’t look good in an orange jumpsuit.

I’ve explained this to my kids: I can’t punch everyone who makes me mad. I’d be in jail forever. So instead, I choose coexistence.

I’m a cactus. I have sharp edges. But I can soften them without letting people trample me.

Not fighting, not being petty, and simply coexisting without hatred isn’t fake.
It’s called being an adult.
And also… not wanting to go to jail.

02/02/2026

It’s a strange thing—to walk through the same door hundreds of times and not realize that one of those times was the last. There was no warning. No moment of closure. I didn’t even notice the door had closed until years later.

I didn’t know the last time I rode in a vehicle with my grandparents driving, would be the last.
The last time I stayed the night at their house.
The last time I jumped on their hay bales.
The last time I fell asleep in my grandpa’s arms on the tractor.
The last time we went out to eat together at a restaurant.
The last time I’d celebrate holidays with my parents together.

At the time, they were just moments. Ordinary. Familiar. Safe.
Only later did they turn into lasts.

Because I didn’t realize they were endings, it now feels like a door was quietly shut behind me—no sound, no goodbye—until one day I turned around and realized it was closed. And the realization felt like a gut punch.

I’m 38 years old, and when I’m around my grandparents, there’s still a part of me that wants to be the child who curls up in their arms and also…drive them absolutely crazy with my loud mouth and busy body. But for some reason, I’m supposed to be the adult now. (RUDE) I have four kids of my own. I carry responsibility. I carry time differently. And time flew.

And I hear myself saying the same things to my kids that were said to me:
“Make sure you cherish this.
Enjoy it while you can.
One day it’ll be the last time, and you won’t even know it.”

But when I look at them, they don’t realize it at all. And how could they? Time moves too fast. Life is too full. Schedules are busy. That’s exactly why I didn’t realize it either.

Generation after generation, we tell our kids to cherish moments we ourselves didn’t know were slipping away. And history repeats itself—not because we don’t care, but because this is how time works. It doesn’t announce endings. It just keeps moving forward.

Nothing bad happened. No one disappeared. Life simply shifted.
And somehow, without noticing, I walked through a door I’ll never walk through again.

01/28/2026

Be honest — are you in your
“I’m unstoppable” phase
or your “please don’t talk to me” phase right now? 😅

ADHD + PMDD is having a few days a month where you feel like
“I’ve figured it out. I’m motivated. I’m unstoppable.”

And then spending the rest of the month just…
existing.
going through the motions.
asking yourself why everything feels harder.

This isn’t laziness.
It’s not a discipline issue.
And it’s definitely not you “not living up to your potential.”

Estrogen boosts dopamine → motivation + clarity.
Progesterone lowers dopamine → ADHD symptoms + PMDD flare.

You’re not inconsistent.
You’re cyclical — in a world that demands constant output.

Survival still counts.

01/26/2026

You know, I’ve been the first person in the past to openly share my religious and political thoughts and beliefs. And I mean that sincerely — I hold many of them with my whole heart.

But here’s the thing.

I can also see other people’s perspectives. I understand how and why they feel so passionately about their own beliefs too. The truth is, we can all be right… and we can all be wrong. What we believe so deeply is shaped by our perception, our life experiences, our losses, and the paths we’ve walked. What I’m most passionate about will naturally look different from what someone else is passionate about — because we haven’t lived the same lives.

One thing I know for certain is that my ADHD brain doesn’t always regulate emotions well, which means I have to be careful about what I jump into passionately. And honestly, I think we could all slow down a bit. We’ve gotten way too comfortable calling strangers evil, labeling each other, and tearing people apart online — people we’ve never met and know almost nothing about.

We take one piece of information we dislike — a political stance, a religious belief, a single opinion — and we shred someone’s entire character as if we have any idea what shoes they’ve walked in. And for what? We’re not changing minds. We’re not bringing people closer to understanding. We’re just dividing ourselves even more.

Our core beliefs come from our experiences. Our reality is shaped by our perception of the world. And the same is true for everyone else. How can we hate each other for living different lives and carrying different stories?

I stand firm in my beliefs. But I also know I could be wrong about many things. Politics and religion are incredibly complex, and there is corruption on every side. Too often, greed is what’s actually leading the conversation — not truth.

What I feel most strongly is this: we are being distracted and divided on purpose. And we fall into it over and over again. While we sit at the bottom arguing with each other, the people at the top stay exactly where they are — gaining more power, more money, and more control — while we fight over fragments of stories we don’t fully understand.

01/20/2026

01/20/2026

A reminder for ADHD moms who work from home and still somehow feel guilty for not “doing enough” 👇

Just because your work doesn’t look loud, physical, or miserable
doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

Running a business from your phone.
Planning from the couch.
Managing schedules, emotions, and a household.
Thinking ten steps ahead while sitting still.

That’s not laziness.
That’s mental labor.

Flexible work isn’t less valuable.
Quiet work isn’t unimportant.
Comfort doesn’t cancel effort.

If this carousel made you exhale a little…
it’s because your nervous system needed to hear it.

Still work.
Still energy.
Still counts.

Save this. Share it.
Someone else needs the reminder too 🤍