11/07/2024
It has been so difficult to bring up the strenght to do many things I am used to doing, keeping up with post being one of the things I just havent been abe to do at the moment. I hope TRULY this will be the LAST long post you guys ever have to read on my page that includes anything that has to do with hard times, getting behind with work, or anything that isnt positive or related to my photography... I have been working so hard and focusing on catching up with editing, so i havent been able to get to my page or messages, but I do know that I should give an update on my page, as I have so many followers, photographers that follow me, clients, and friends that are worried about me and also wondering were I have been and wondering IF or when Ill be back. I know so many of you have messaged me these past days/weeks and I have yet to respond to so many messages... It has been an extremely hard past weeks and I am TRULY doing the best I can, pushing SO hard and finally, i feel I am being able to start getting back to life, work, and starting to heal......
I thank every one for all the love, the patience, the understanding and the support thru these years, i went from having such a strong, successful, thriving bussiness were I used to do 80+ sessions a month, and I was able to hustle and keep up with all my deadlines and work, to now these past months doing ONLY 5-7 sessions per month (and me even taking off like 3 months not booking) and still struggling to keep up with work... PLEASE understand that while my photography bussiness is and was a huge blessing, it has also taught me how incredibly hard it is to have a full time bussiness, full of responsibility and so time consuming, all while having to adapt to challenges in life... As soon as my dad started to get sicker a couple months back, i moved into my moms house so i could help her 24/7 with all his care, this happened at the same time my husband had to leave for about 7 months to do airforce training , therefore i also had to take care of both my small kids by myself...All these past years I had an AMAZING support system that allowed me to keep up with busy photography bussiness, I had my mom and sister taking care of my kids 6/7 days a week , most of the day, my husband home taking care of so many time consuming parts of our lifes, helping with the kids, and even helping me with anything he saw i needed help with in my bussiness, I went from having 80 hours or more per week to fully focus, edit, keep up with my work, to suddendly a few months back, ALL AT ONCE, my husband leaving to the airforce, my sister (who took care of my kids 60+ hours per week) moving to chicago, my mom having to take care of my dad full time and not being able to help me as much with my kids, and me moving to my moms house to help take care of my dad, who needed assistance all day to walk, his meds, and so many things that come with taking care of someone in hospice care), also in top of all at the same moment my life got so complicate, I started dealing with some medical issues of my own, which brought surgeries, so many appointments, and having to deal with all of what I was going thru while feeling SO unwell daily...... I know it seems wild to some people like "how can she be soooooo busy to not be able to respond daily to her messages?", but the reality of things is that, we never know what someone is REALLY going thru at a given time, and even tho at some point i decided to stop posting stories and post so often excusing my life situation and explaining always why i havent responded messages in a few days, life TRULY got really, extremely complicated, REALLY quick and without any warning....
Even tho I tried my hardest, i literally lost control of my time, life, health and all at a the flash of an eye......I have tried to be responsible and barely booked any sessions knowing my life and time were really unstable and hard these past months...My biggest pride all these past years was being able to give every one a beautiful photography experience from beginning to end, being able to create beautiful photos for everyone, sending them in time, always being able to communicate right away with my clients, etc etc, but during these times were my time was so limited, life was changing daily, and i was trying to adapt to it all, I did the best I could, and there was no way to foresee that things would get so hard, so quickly........I promise that If I say "l'll try to send booking info by the morning", if i dont get to reply to a message right away, or if i say i will send out a photo and it takes me a few extra hours or day, it was 100% out of my hands, and the intention was there, I was still getting used to not having 100% control of my time, and there is no way anyone can predict what happens on a daily basis... I booked ONLY few sessions these past months, and that was only because my dad was somewhat stable, and I was doing fine keeping up, unfortunately with cancer and in life in general, life can take a quick turn and stuff can start to decline or get complicated quickly, and as a bussiness owner we just have to adapt... Unfortunately I could not just shut down my page and I just couldnt take a few weeks off to deal with my dad about to pass away and even now, i couldnt just take off work and have a few weeks to deal with the pain of him passing away... I know i have a responsibility to all my clients (and even tho everyone has been so amazing and understanding) it is not anyones fault or responsibility to just deal with my life situation, you all pay and are so excited to get your beautiful photos, I am so grateful i was able to have had the blessing to sit next to my dad all day these past months and edit and keep working even among it all...
I truly feel like I have always tried to be super professional thru the years, i have always tried to go above and BEYOND for all of my costumers, and I was always 100% on top of my game for the most part as far as keeping up with deadlines and all was concerned... please know these past weeks/months do not reflect on my professionalism, character or person.. I know the clients that got to work with me these past weeks/months didn't get to work with the fastest, most professional and proficient person, and I apologize for that SO MUCH .... even tho some of you had to wait or are waiting a little or a lot longer to get photos back please know you all got and will get amazing quality images, and that the quality of the images you got or will get dosent reflect on my current situation, if anything i think i tried to make up some of the time delays with giving you all a little extra here and there, people still waiting on galleries will also get something extra for the wait, and as a thank you for your understanding and patience.. please know that now that my dad is gone and i have more time, I am working hard on catching up with work....thankfully my husband is back as well after many months he had to leave for the airforce , and he is supporting me so much so i can get back on track...now it was just a matter of me pushing thru all the funeral arrangements, the sadness and numbness of the first few days after he passed, many days of prayers and family coming over to support my mom and us, and so many time and energy consuming matters that came also after his passing...
While having to write a post like this is HUMBLING, painful and I can even say a little embarrassing... it is also Human and full of emotion and the purpose of it is not to excuse anything, but to apologize for any one that didn't get my 100% most professional and usual self, all tho i do take responsibility for not being able to keep up with my bussiness page, workload, and life....i truly feel this whole situation was out of my hands, happened super quickly and there was nothing i could have done to prevent all that happened these past weeks/months from affecting my bussiness.... Now that my dad is gone, I am trying really hard to pick my life back up, get my bussiness back on track, and trying to get my health taken care of.... all of this I am trying to do, while I am also trying to heal my broken heart and have a huge piece, motivation part of my life gone...
I know times have been hard, but I also know I am strong and most of all I know my dad is now up in heaven, in peace, in no pain and I know he will send me the strength, motivation and courage i need to push thru this hard moment... My family has ALWAYS been my number one motivation for me to have my photography bussiness, I worked SOOOO hard the past years became a succesful photographer just so i could be able to be at home with my kids, to be able to retire my parents, to travel with my husband, and mostly to make my parents PROUD. My photography bussiness and you all gave me the blessing of being able to give my dad some BEAUTIFUL last years, I was able to take him on so many amazing trips, he was able to see some beautiful sunsets, beaches, mountains, all while creating hundreds of irreplaceable memories with us, my mom and his grandkids.. we got to fully enjoy our time with him, my kids got to spend so much time with their grandpa and experience many first in their lifes along his side, we got to enjoy lots of fun long car rides to trips, have so many laughs, yummy meals at reastaurants , roller coaster rides, tourist attractions, and most of all my photography bussiness allowed me to stay at home with my dad and be with him 24/7 his last months, i got to hold his hand while he pased away and allowed me to stay home and be by my moms side thru these first hard weeks... I am SO ETERNALLY grateful, to everyone who made this possible by hiring me, to all my loyal clients over the years who sent supportive, LONG, BEAUTIFUL, heart touching supportive messages all thru my dads cancer journey..
I am so grateful to all the clients who worked with me these past months, and even tho you didnt get the best of me bussiness wise, you didnt get the fastest responses and had to wait extra time for your galleries, thank you for puttin up with me, supported me and were KIND to me thru this.....You will forever be so dear to my heart and will always have V.I.P treatment with me for years to come.....
Even tho my dad is now gone , I will pick my self up quickly, i wont let his passing bring me down, and I will do what i know he truly wanted with all his heart, which was to see me happy, thriving, healthy, caught up with work and able to enjoy my life with my family
