02/25/2024
The only weather update we need! 😂 Be careful out there!
Heller,
We're gonna make this easy for errrrbody to understand mmkay?
If you go outside at any point between now and Tuesday mernin, please douse yourself with a hose or a fire extinguisher. It's for the greater good.
May I also suggest putting rocks in your pockets, or affixing ankle weights unless you wanna channel your inner "R Kelly" in which case......... " I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day........" 🥹
Colorado loves to pull the "land hurricane" and "summer to winter in 5 minutes" cards when we're playing apocalyptic bingo. You transplant newbies really didn't understand what you were getting yourself into when you moved here did you?
It's okay, I too enjoy learning via the full immersive experience. Like being thrown into a swimming pool as an infant and harnessing my ability to float like a potato so I don't die.
Oh, speaking of the four seasons, not the nice one. The miserable oh my body hurts one. That's Tuesday. Tuesday morning will be Fall, kinda. Late Tuesday morning for some of you will be late spring, early summer. Tuesday afternoon will briefly acknowledge spring and fall before blasting at Mach 12 back into winter again, and the one thing they'll all have in common is the blowy wind will be trying to scalp you.
Oh, and then we have the heavy snurfall and near whiteout conditions that will exist in the mountains, because science. Then for the rest of us peasants, the sunscreen instantly freezes on our skin we just applied an hour ago when it was 150 degrees warmer, and then remembered we left the windows down on our car coming back from the swimming pool and the console and dashboard looks like a snur glurb.
So, yeah welcome to the 303. The 720. The 719, and all the other combinations of numbers that we call home, hell on earth, my lungs hurt, oh the sun is sunnier here, I swear it was 75 degrees 8 seconds ago. Why is my lawn white? Whatever.
Thank you so much to Front Range CPR LLC (you might need them on Tuesday), the Maize Agency (they rebuilt my website and may need to rebuild my soul after Tuesday), to Colorado Auto Glass (if your windshield shatters because "the day after tomorrow", they can replace it for you), and to Peek Goldstone, LLC ( I don't think you can sue Mother Nature, but they might be able to help) for sponsoring this update!
Visit kodythewxguy.com and click on Colorado sponsors to learn more about how you can support these amazing businesses who support me. K great thanks bye!
