11/03/2024
We so miss this little bug……lost her to an unexpected episode of acute heart failure just 1 week ago. The last thing we anticipated when we took her to the emergency room last Sunday morning, for some minor breathing issues, was that she would be gone from our lives three hours later. I really expected that they would stabilize her with additional Lasix and supplemental Oxygen and we would head home in a few hours, simply needing to increase her heart meds a bit.
I had become so hopeful for her long term prognosis, after her initial episode of acute heart failure, in June, as with medication I saw she was stabilized and actually improving. I was treating her like I would have treated the most VIP of VIP patients. Running labs every 4 weeks, cardiac echos every few months, making sure she had her meds q12 hours precisely. I was becoming hopeful that she would be a heart disease outlier and be able to live beyond the standard observable survival rate of 12 months, as she was actually improving, but I had not anticipated that she might suffer an unexpected catastrophic mitral valve failure. But she apparently did, and we watched her decompensate rapidly right before our eyes, powerless to save her. I know we did a great job taking care of her. The ER Vet even commented on how, since we brought her in so quickly once she started to show symptoms, they couldn’t initially see signs of how serious this was because they were still developing, and that she hasn’t seen such a quick response before, and that we certainly gave her the best fighting chance if this had been treatable. I’m so sad all our efforts were not enough.
I am still having trouble sleeping, especially as she was always here in the bed with us. Her physical and spiritual absence is still so palpable. And last night was the first time we have gone out to eat without her sitting by my side in 12 years…..that was a very weird feeling. Lots of painful “firsts” we seem to be experiencing now. The void remains so profound and we are experiencing it in so many varied little aspects of our lives it’s impossible to predict when it will hit us.
And as I sit here at home while Alex is out for a bit, her absence is still so significant. I miss her company, as over the last 12 years, neither Alex nor I were never alone at home….she was always there with us, next to us. I miss being able to touch and caress her. Feeling her lying next to me…..in my lap…..crowding me to the edge of the bed! I miss her kisses. I miss her smell. She definitely carved out a huge place in our hearts.
In sharing our loss to folks over the last few days I was saddened to see how many others, like ourselves, are or recently have also suffered such a profound loss. I have so much empathy for all you folks out there who are also suffering from the loss or your furry family member. Please feel that you can reach out to us for emotional support you might need as well, for, although we are grieving, we always have room in our hearts for any of our friends who need us.
I pray that G-d will continue to watch over our little Musho, Sophie, protect her and bath her in His Love, and keep the memories of our love for her strong in her soul, and that He will help Alex G. Semel and I manage through this very difficult loss, as well as help everyone of you who are also dealing with a profound loss of a loved one.
G-d Bless our little Musho, and again we thank G-d for allowing us to be able to have experienced both being loved so purely by, and being able to love so purely, one of his most Awesome creations.
Finally, to all our friends, Alex & I thank you for allowing us to share so deeply our thoughts and emotions here on Facebook with our many friends. It does help the grieving, to be able to write down how we are feeling, and especially to hear your kind words of comfort.
This is one of my favorite pictures of her taken just a few weeks ago. I think every time she looked into my eyes like this she was looking deep into my soul and I always felt it.
Thank you for your continued love & support 🙏❤️
