07/16/2026
Before everyone calls me an apikores, let’s talk about what may be one of the most controversial wedding topics:
Pre-chuppah photos.
The entire modern day system of spending three or four hours before the wedding taking separate photos—while the chosson and kallah avoid seeing each other—is not some ancient part of Jewish weddings.
Once upon a time, the bride arrived, the groom arrived, there was a badeken, a chuppah, and the wedding continued. The elaborate, multi-hour photography schedule we have today is a relatively modern development.
I have even heard respected roshei yeshivah advocate that, when appropriate and properly supervised, a chosson and kallah should consider taking some photos together before the chuppah.
Why?
Because otherwise, the couple may lose the opportunity to get beautiful, relaxed photos—and hundreds of guests may be left waiting while they take pictures after the chuppah.
Now, as a Lubavitcher, I am obviously not telling anyone to ignore their minhagim. I am also not paskening halachah for anybody.
My point is simply that this may not be as black-and-white as people assume—although black and white may be exactly what the bride and groom are wearing.
There are halachic opinions, community customs, and individual circumstances to consider. If the traditional schedule is going to leave a bride overwhelmed and anxious for the entire day, perhaps there are reasonable alternatives worth discussing with your wedding Rabbi / Rav.
Every couple should speak with their rav, community leaders, and families and decide what is appropriate for them.
But before attacking someone for doing things differently, remember: not every modern wedding custom is automatically halachah, and not every alternative is automatically wrong.
