07/13/2023
The Accidental Hammam Ladies - Writing a book about widowhood
July 3, 2023
Yes, we’re writing a book. We’ve written our stories and analyzed the data from our questionnaires. We’ve attended writing seminars and lectures. We are working to ensure the book we write will be helpful and valuable to our readers. Anytime you have an idea, suggestion, or comment, please share it with us at [email protected].
Here’s an excerpt just for you.
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As if we were an amateur rock band, we refer to ourselves as “Rebecca and the Karens.” While we share similar experiences and outlooks, we are very different women. Age and appearance are the apparent differences. One Karen is six feet tall and blonde; the other Karen barely reaches five feet and is a redhead. Rebecca is five foot eight with a crown of white hair. Rebecca stands in the middle of our ages, too. On a beautiful, cold February evening in Sedona in 2023, when we first began to imagine this book, Tall Karen was 60, Rebecca was 71, and Short Karen was 75 years old.
The three of us were sitting in front of an outdoor fire on the first evening of another of our annual getaways. Short Karen mentioned an idea she and Tall Karen had discussed on one of their long drives of each publishing their respective planned book, then doing the book release tours together.
Tall Karen suggested that we all publish a book relating our shared experiences of widowhood, friendship, and the hammam. Giddiness ensued as we tossed about ideas for cover photos for the book. But a seed was planted that continued to grow within each of us. (A result of energy from the Sedona energy vortices? Hint: it involved the conditions required in a hammam).
Taking action to get this project started practically and immediately, we went to the nearest office supply store the next morning and purchased writing supplies. Later that day, we had our first official meeting of the Accidental Hammam Ladies.
How we came to know each other and the story behind The Accidental Hammam Ladies requires a bit of explanation. It stems from one thing the three of us have in common: we all love to travel. When Short Karen organized a trip to Morocco in 2019, she posted her plan on Facebook to see if anyone was interested. Rebecca, Tall Karen, and her husband, Bob, were part of the small group who signed up.
On Tour Day 10, in Essaouira, Morocco, a Berber hammam was on the agenda. The three of us found ourselves in a small tiled room being soaped, scrubbed, and then placed in the middle of the room to be hosed off. We didn’t know each other very well before the trip, yet here we were: totally exposed and accidentally more intimate with each other than we had ever anticipated. Rebecca commented that we were the only ones who’d ever seen her tattoo beside her husband. That day, we bonded as The Accidental Hammam Ladies. Little did we know how that bond would change and grow from naked bodies to the experience of supporting one of us as she became a widow a year later.
It’s been a hard road for all three of us to get here emotionally. Our friendship was a critical recovery factor. Let us befriend you on these pages as you manage the changes widowhood brings. We’ll share our backgrounds, knowledge, experiences, and lessons learned. When you finish this book, we hope you feel more comfortable about where you are, where you’re going, and what friends you will take with you. This book is about our stories of loss, despair, change, hope, growth, re-creation, and, most importantly, intentional friendships.
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If you would like updates about the book, publishing dates, and book tours, send me a message or email at
[email protected].
