07/14/2026
This isn’t a post for pity or attention. It’s for honesty, and to help me be vulnerable enough to ask for prayers. In all honesty, things have actually been going much better for me lately. If anything, this is just me finally being honest. If you pray, I would truly appreciate your prayers. 🤍
There are a lot of people who have noticed that this year has looked a little different for me, but I haven’t really shared why.
Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (MS). What I’ve been dealing with recently has been a pretty severe flare-up caused by an active lesion on my brain.
I’ve kept this mostly private because I never wanted my diagnosis to define me, and I never wanted people to feel sorry for me. If I’m being completely honest… I was scared. Scared that my clients would see me differently. I’ve always wanted to keep showing up, keep pushing forward, and keep living life as normally as I could. But I’ve realized it’s okay to admit when you’re struggling, and it’s okay to ask for prayer.
To say this year has changed my life would be an understatement. There were days I questioned why this was happening to me. I was angry. I was sad. I was scared. There were days I felt defeated, and there were nights I cried myself to sleep.
Looking back now, I don’t think God was trying to break me. I think He was teaching me to trust Him in ways I never had before. He was slowing me down and reminding me what truly matters. Even though I never would have chosen this path, I truly believe He has walked beside me through every step of it.
I’ve had to learn to give up so much control. Anyone who truly knows me knows how hard that has been. I’ve always been the one who wanted to do everything myself, fix everything myself, and never ask for help.
This year has forced me to lean on Wesley, my mom, and the people around me more than I ever have before. Even my kids have quite literally helped pick me up off the floor more times than I can count. That has been one of the hardest lessons for me, but also one of the greatest blessings.
Something else I haven’t really shared is that before my diagnosis, Wesley made the decision to leave his full-time job to pursue building his own business. We were so excited for this new chapter and had so many plans for what this year was going to look like.
Then everything changed.
Instead of spending the first half of this year focused on growing his business, so much of his time and energy was spent helping take care of me, picking me up after falls, taking me to doctor’s appointments, helping with the kids, and carrying responsibilities that I physically couldn’t.
Watching him put his career on hold without ever complaining has been one of the greatest examples of selfless love I’ve ever experienced.
Through every doctor’s appointment, every setback, every flare-up, and every uncertain day, God has continued to provide exactly what we needed. There were moments when we didn’t know how we were going to make it through, but somehow He always made a way. Looking back, I can see His faithfulness in every step, even when I couldn’t understand what He was doing.
For those of you who have been patient with me, checked on me, prayed for me, helped with my kids, covered for me, or simply shown me grace… thank you. I don’t think you’ll ever truly know how much it has meant to me.
I also want my clients to know that this doesn’t change my love for photography. I still absolutely love what I do, and I have no plans of stepping away from it. If anything, this journey has reminded me even more how precious memories are and why I love preserving them for other families.
I’m writing this post because it’s currently 1:30 in the morning, and I can’t sleep.
My emotions have gotten the best of me tonight. I’ve been lying here crying and replaying my entire day over and over in my head. This is something I’ve been doing almost every night lately. Instead of laying here any longer, I decided to get up and clean my kids’ room. I’d rather spend my energy making tomorrow a little easier than wake up overwhelmed or start the day complaining that their room is messy.
As I was cleaning, all I could think about was…
Did I spend too much time on my phone today?
Did I edit or work too much?
Did I play with my kids enough?
Did I hug them enough?
Was I patient?
Did I raise my voice?
Did I say things I wish I could take back?
Was I a good spouse today?
Was I a good mom today?
Every single night, I find myself praying the same prayer…
“God, please help me be better tomorrow. Please come into our home, help my family feel loved, and help us change our ways.”
The truth is, I’m terrified of looking back one day and realizing I missed what mattered most. Life has a way of reminding you just how quickly everything can change.
I don’t want Addi and Weston to grow up remembering a mom who was always distracted by everything life demanded. I want them to remember that I played with them, laughed with them, prayed with them, listened to them, hugged them often, and made them feel safe, important, and deeply loved.
I think about them turning 18… then 25… having families of their own.
What will they remember about me?
Will they remember a mom who loved Jesus, loved them with everything she had, admitted when she messed up, and never stopped trying?
Will they know that even on the days I felt like I was failing, they were always my greatest blessing?
Then I think about Wesley.
Have I encouraged him enough?
Have I loved him well?
Have I said things to him I wish I could take back?
Have I thanked him enough for everything he’s carried this year while I’ve been learning to navigate this disease?
I don’t tell him enough, but I truly couldn’t have made it through this year without him.
Are we building the kind of relationship and home our kids will one day hope to have?
I don’t have this all figured out.
Honestly, most days I feel like I’m failing at something.
Social media usually shows the beautiful galleries, the smiles, the business wins, and the happy moments.
It rarely shows the nights where you’re questioning yourself.
The nights where you’re scared.
The nights where you wonder if you’re giving your family the best of you… or just what’s left of you.
If there’s one thing I pray for, it’s not a bigger business, more money, or more success.
I pray that years from now my children won’t remember what I accomplished.
I pray they’ll remember they never had to question whether they were loved.
I pray they’ll remember a mom and dad who loved each other, loved Jesus, and did their very best even when life was hard.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Tomorrow I’ll try again.
Tomorrow I’ll put my phone down a little more.
Tomorrow I’ll hug my babies a little tighter.
Tomorrow I’ll thank Wesley for everything he does for our family.
Tomorrow I’ll ask God, once again, to help me become the wife, the mother, and the woman He created me to be.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading.
Maybe someone else is lying awake tonight carrying burdens they haven’t told anyone about.
Maybe someone else is wondering if they’re doing enough.
If that’s you, I hope you know you’re not alone.
And if you think of me and my family when you pray, I’d be incredibly grateful.
Please pray for healing. Please pray for strength. Please pray that God continues to guide me through this journey with MS.
More than anything, pray that when my kids are grown, they’ll never have to question how deeply they were loved.
Life is so precious. Don’t wait to hug your babies, tell your spouse you love them, or thank the people who have been there for you.
Tomorrow isn’t promised. 🤍
