06/21/2024
Something I learned in therapy today. Keep in mind I ‘ve found that a good therapist tells you what you need to hear as opposed to what you want to hear. I’ve found that good friends and family tend to do the same, it what keeps us growing as people I think.
In that respect, I haven’t been as good of a friend on here as I could be. To be as clear and upfront as possible, the cancer has gotten worse. The last pet scan showed one lesion got smaller but a lot has gotten worse , also there are now spots in my lungs as well. So why didn’t I tell you this?
The simple answer is I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do about it so I didn’t want you to worry about it. That’s kind of a selfish reason as it takes away your choice on how to feel about any of this. For that I’m sorry. It’s funny in that in some ways I don’t want to be treated like someone who is dying, that would make sense if I wasn’t someone who is in fact dying way earlier than I want to.
It would be easier if any of this made sense but it doesn’t . Life doesn’t always make sense. There are people dying of things way worse than what I have and they’re dying with way less love around them as I have. That being said, making such observations won’t change anything with my friends and family after I’m gone.
I’m not in any pain and I don’t feel anything is dire just yet, but I thought I should be more honest than I wanted to be about it all. I’m doing what I can to fight this and I appreciate all the support I’ve been getting from all of you. I should be starting a new medicine soon and I’m also enrolled (or trying to be) in a clinical trial which is good news.
I’m hitting mics when I can and I’m painting more these days, I hope to see you all in some way soon, much love, Dave.