04/25/2026
This might be a long one. I have a lot I need to get off my chest.
When they said cancer, everything inside me went quiet. Then all at once, it was loud. His whole life came rushing back. Ordinary days that I would give anything to slow down now.
Some of you know Jax was not originally mine. My brother brought him home when we were all living together. The same way our first lab Max was supposed to be his, but somehow became mine too.
It’s funny how that keeps happening.
I never went looking for Jax. It happened slowly, in the in between. And one day I realized he was not just part of my life. He was woven into it.
There is something about a dog’s love that is hard to explain unless you have lived it. It is steady. Its unconditional. It shows up the same way every day. It becomes part of the rhythm of your life until you cannot imagine a version of your world without it.
And maybe that is why this hurts the way it does.
Once again we are faced with very difficult decisions. Bc of his age, and because I love him so much, I do not want to make his world smaller just to keep him here longer. These decisions have been some of the hardest I have ever had to sit with.
At the end of the day, I just want Jax to be comfortable. Happy. And to know how loved he is.
These last few weeks have changed me. I slow down without trying. I notice more. The way he settles into his spot on the couch. The way he looks at me without needing anything. The way he still shows up exactly as he always has.
Most of all, I am so grateful I still get these days with him. It feels like every minute counts. I find myself staying in the present because a future without him is too hard to imagine.
I keep thinking about how many of these moments I lived through without realizing they were everything.
Jax is not thinking about what comes next. He is still himself.And even now, he is still giving. Still loving. Still showing up the same way he always has.
As a photographer, I am very particular. You all know that. I found Nadia from through .
And when I saw her work I did not have to think about it.
What she gave us was more than photos. (Continued in comments)
