08/15/2024
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It doesn't seem that long ago.
Most people who know me also know that I am an alcoholic. I'm going to get into it a little bit for those who still suffer and for those who.love someone struggling with addiction.
On August 15, 2002, I woke up not sure where I was and with only small bits and pieces of memory to tell me what had happened, where I'd been, and what I had done the night before. To be honest I really had no idea.
This was one morning among many like this for me, but it was the last time I would wake up in this state.
The previous night was a relapse after 3 months of not drinking.
In fact, I had periods of sobriety ranging from a fews days at a time to a few weeks at a time. Ii even stopped drinking for about a year in 1991 or 1992 and in 1995 I stopped drinking for a few years. This struggle started in the late 1980's.
I share that to say this.
DON'T GIVE UP
Maybe no one you know believes you will ever be clean and sober and maybe they have good reasons to feel.that way, probably they do. I know I gave the people in my life good reason to doubt if I could ever live a life sober and happy.
They say an alcoholic is like a tornado that leaves a path of destruction in the lives of those close to them and it's true. I won't go into great detail about the things I did and said. Sharing those salacious details publicly aren't what helps, in my experience. Just know that they exist and we're bad enough.
What is worth sharing is that someone who most saw as beyond help, hopeless ... got sober, stayed sober and lives a life that would have seemed inconceivable to those who knew me then.
HOW?
It's simple really, and extremely difficult.
Simple to understand and to explain to another but quite difficult to do the things that need to be done in order to get better mentally, physical improvement will follow.
What makes it so difficult?
In short it's pride or ego.
Who wants to admit they can't do it, that they have no power to stop doing what they are doing even though it is killing them and harming those they love?
It's a big step and often the most difficult step of them all.
I'll stop here and say that I know people who were every bit as bad as I was or worse who had a religious experience that changed them almost instantly and that they never fell into their addiction again.
Excellent! I am joyful for you and with you!
But it doesn't work that way for most people.
I tried. I got down on my knees and begged God to take away the compulsion. I did this more times than I can remember. I went down to the front and publicly confessed my addiction. I got baptized. I really tried, and it would seem to be working but then I'd find myself back where I started, unable to understand why.
I'm not knocking faith, it's a big part of my life now.
But I did not have the lightning bolt experience. For me it was a grueling process of work, repetition and yes, trust that God would aid me.
I want to add something right here.
You do not have to believe in my God or any god to get clean and sober. I know people who are agnostic or atheist who have gained and retained long term sobriety.
Also,
If you have not struggled with addiction please understand that you don't understand. You can study it and know a lot of information about addiction but it just isn't the same. Don't get me wrong, we need people who know a lot about addiction. This information is extremely valuable to a person working a program of sobriety. It helps, a lot.
What have I found that does work?
I got sober and have stayed sober for over 20 years by working a 12 step program.
I'm not here to sell it to you. You decide.
It worked for me when nothing else was working for me.
If you want information about where to find meetings or about how the program works I will be happy to have a discussion with you.
Message me about this and I will respond.
People have asked me, "didn't God help you get sober?"
My answer is, "YES"!
But it wasn't a snap of God's fingers and I was better. I had to do the work.
One request from my fellow believers.
Please do not tell addicts that if they just believe and if their faith is strong enough then God will take away their addiction, just like that!
Can it happen that way? Yes, I've seen it.
But pushing people into this formula where if it doesn't happen this way for them then it's because their faith is weak or they don't really want to quit is a destructive and toxic way to come at someone struggling with addiction.
Please don't do it.
