09/12/2025
- Waiting -
While I’m filled with anticipation to meet my son, guilt sometimes creeps in, making me feel like pure excitement should be my only feeling. On most days, I’m eager to know when he’ll arrive, what he’ll be like, and if I’ll be a good parent, but that eagerness is tangled with worries about my ability to protect him in a world that can be so unkind. Fear lingers too – the fear of messing up and the unsettling feeling of not being as ready as I thought. Sometimes, a selfish desire for my pre-pregnancy body returns. But above all, I’m profoundly grateful for our journey through fertility treatments, for our good health, and for the support we’ve received. Despite these mixed emotions, the joy of meeting and holding my baby, seeing his first look, knowing that in my arms, he’ll find safety is immense. I eagerly await those first sniffs, toe counts, and cuddles, taking each day as it comes until I can finally meet him (And yes, the thought of sleeping on my stomach again brings a little smile).
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Words by Ali - May 2024
Photos by
Part of an ongoing photo project called “Waiting” exploring those final weeks of pregnancy and inviting people to share their personal feelings and experience.
Film scans by
