11/04/2020
I am still alive!! I know I've been so MIA on Instagram, but I am back! I was having a little moment. I am okay now lol.
It's remarkably absurd how these past weeks I've lived out my photography dreams, yet I didn't even comprehend it. Why? You ask... Well, I don't know about you, but sometimes I get my prayers answered yet not know it if they don't merely transpire how I'd imagined they would! So I end up overwhelmed, frustrated and at times, defeated, comparing myself to other entrepreneurs, photographers or anyone in my age bracket! I seemingly became fixated with ME! My thoughts and emotions became centred on ME!! Is it convenient for me? Are they doing better than ME? Why are they doing better than ME? Am I good enough? Is that fair to ME? Can they tell I don't know what I'm doing? How can I make it better for ME?... Am I the only one who gets in my head? I mean it didn't matter that I was securing clients or getting contracts signed! I was not thinking about my clients nearly as much as I was immersed in "my achievements and or the lack thereof, I forgot why I started my business, amazing clients became blurred in the background, deeming us incapable of fully connecting.
I sometimes forget that photography is not only my passion but also a God-given gift! Everything I do with it is to point back to him! It's not just clicking my shutter. I want to connect with all my clients, allowing them to express their real and raw emotions, and capturing them how God sees them. My clients are more than just a paycheck to elevate my business goals. I want them to become friends for life!!
Not to imply there's anything awry with having ME thoughts and emotions. I need to be cautious not to allow myself to set up camp and stay long. Cogitation and emotions can easily transition to mindsets, habits, behaviours and then morph into distinct personalities! And oh boy, that's a lot of work to undo. I know I am not selfish, I, however, understand that if not careful, I can suddenly develop selfish behaviours!
Can anyone relate!? 🤷🏽♀️🤪