10/23/2025
A life update I’ve been scared to share.
I’ve been sitting inside a spirit of isolation since MJ died.
But through prayer and fellowship in Christ Jesus, that spirit of fear has been ripped from me.
The Holy Spirit is leading me into full surrender, into radical acceptance.
Especially in this gift I’ve been given from the Lord, this heritage of children from Him.
When I lost MJ last year, nothing from who I once was survived.
People often asked, “Do you feel like a part of you died?”
But the better question was, “What lived?”
My thoughts weren’t the same.
I didn’t enjoy anything.
I wasn’t the same with me.
I wasn’t the same mom to my boys.
I wasnt the same wife to my husband.
Nothing from the previous version of me lived.
I was a new person in the same body without the 30 years of relationship I had with myself.
A fresh, raw slate, with the underlying tone of turmoil and rage and conflict writing what was once my life.
So, what lived?
Jesus lived.
My relationship with Him began in fullness.
My prayer life unfolded.
My submission began.
I had nowhere else to go.
Nobody else saved me.
Nobody else rescued me from the pit of darkness.
Nobody else came for me.
Only Jesus.
And He has been so close.
He gave me 9 months of MJ.
Then He gave me 9 months of despair.
And the next day after the 9 month mark,
He opened my womb again.
Another daughter. A baby girl.
With a due date that lands exactly on our 10 year anniversary, the day Keegan and I met.
February 16, 2016 to February 16, 2026.
I was scared.
New fears.
New life to protect.
A new submission.
The simple things weren’t simple, and they still aren’t.
But while Keegan and I picked up the shovel to move a single grain of sand, the Lord moved the mountain.
I’ve never been this close to the Lord.
I’ve never seen Him move the way He has since losing MJ.
A true unveiling.
True restoration.
We asked the Holy Spirit to name her.
And He did.
Eliana Joy Anderson.
El meaning “My God.”
Ana meaning “who answers me.”
And Joy.
Her name literally translates to “My God who answers me Joy.”
Believers have prophesied over her life.
Visions of her birth.
Her purpose.
The deliverance to come from bringing her earthside.
Too many confirmations.
Too much impossible math from too many people hearing the same thing from the Lord.
Only God.
And inside of this last week I’ve found an abundance of joy in my life again.
An urge to share her.
An urge to share me, this new version, not through the tone of turmoil,
but through the promise of Joy from a God who answers me.
Thank You Jesus.
