05/15/2026
Documenting is still part of my passion.
Sometimes documenting isn’t joy and laughter.
Sometimes we document to remember.
I always want to remember this time of losing my full ability because the best part is that I am in a forced learning process.
I am learning about how determined, driven, strong and capable I am in a most difficult experience.
I am learning about those people in my circle and seeing how they can accept me at my worst physically.
My capacity for empathy is growing. My patience is expanding. My appreciation for friends that have extended flowers, gifts, heartfelt messages and time to come see and help me is so deep.
I have had to face so many questions like how can I sweep a floor while balancing myself on crutches, how can I go up and down the stairs without bending my leg at 90* or how can I carefully drive to my destination with the pain I will endure during my drive from point A to point B?
These are Questions I never imagined I’d ask myself or have to figure out.
I have to face the questions from my friends, “What happened? How are you? How long will it take to recover?”
Quite frankly, I smile and give my best answers, “I was playing pickleball… I am doing ok… I am going to need a couple of months to walk well again…” but the truth is I don’t know. No one does. I don’t know how long I will smile through it. I hope the whole way.
The fact is, when you are a hyper-independent person, active and excited everyday about life, this kind of injury is so humbling. I see people at the gym and my pride is gone.
I’m grounded in every step I take. I’m centered around being there for my daughter, no matter how humiliating it feels in some of those moments.
When someone holds the door, I’m moved. When someone treats me as the same, I am thankful. When someone sees me as a person and not just a person who can’t walk right now, I am inspired.
I know it will pass. I know it’s temporary. I know I can do this.
I know I need to remember these lessons and these experiences for a long time after my knee heals, my life comes back together and I need to value everything I have now and always and more than ever. Be kind always.