02/17/2026
You know what I find interestingโฆis the momentum we lose when the load of life just feels so unbearable and I don't just mean our day to day life, I also mean the heaviness of the state of our โunionโ or lack thereof.
Itโs just heavy, and I recognize this, and I know you recognize it as well. But when we, us mamas, are on the daily grind there our days that we feel like we have it all together, then you add work, responsibilities, being the default parents, for some (like myself) homeschooling, running a small business, or part time work, the damn dishes, I'm preaching - I know. But then some of those days, those invisible loads, the weight feels like we are buckling at the knees.
ANDD then, you hop on the internet, ya know for that โI have a few minutesโ dopamine hit - that โfeel goodโ drug, but then you are slapped into another reality, and we instantly become even emptier, angrier, more defensive - like โyes, actually I do want to argue about Bad Bunny because LISTEN to me, I have something to prove to a random friend of a โfriendโ on the internet, whom Iโve never met, and probably won't ever meet.โ What are we even doing here? Meanwhile, itโs 8am on a Tuesday, or a beautiful Sunday with zero plans - it's not raining here in Oregon, in fact it may even be sunny, or snowy ๐
. Maybe we just missed an epic sunrise, and yet the first thing we did was pick up our phone, and boom that set the tone for the day.
We are moving through a constant stream of breaking news, outrage, and crisis, scrolling our way through one headline after another, and our nervous systems are taking the biggest hit. This state of overwhelm wasnโt an accident. It was systemically built, designed to leave us disenchanted, distracted, and burned out enough - that what actually matters starts to slip past us. When literally everything feels urgent, absolutely nothing gets the care it deserves.
As a creative person, who can actively say, yes, I have a toxic relationship with social media. At this point we all do. But my stamina, my momentum of creative living is in full throttle constant state of grief . If itโs not in grief it is in one of the five stages of it and I know with every fiber of my being that is not the way I want to live the better parts of my life out. Itโs hard to create and share that, or talk about an offering you have, or even just share a small joyous snippet while the world is burning and all we are doing is arguing about who set it on fire. Or even if you do put your blinders on to show up, you share something that you feel is meaningful, or something you are excited to share, or maybe something you worked hard on, and the response is a fraction of what it once was, which can really start to feel personal.
WE are tired of being activated by heavy s**t, hard s**t, stupid s**t, big s**t. It's all plural at this point, nothing singular.
What I really want - and honestly I want this for you too, is to just be inspired to create any kind of art. To it, to share it AND I want to keep the damn balanced momentum of it. I have spiral notebookโs full of lost thoughts and ideas, some executed and some that just remain on the pages. That just makes my tummy rumble with nervousness. In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how ideas have agency. When we do not respond, when we are too tired or distracted or overwhelmed to meet them, they do not wait forever. They go elsewhere.
What I do know with my whole heart is that when I am feeling this way, I need the most intense kind of nurturing. I mean like a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup homemade by my mom. I need a long conversation with a friend that goes from laughing to crying, to talking a wee little bit of s**t, to affirmations, back to crying and just feeling that overwhelmed kind of gratitude to have a friend like that. I need a good back scratch. I need like the better half of a decade (JK JK) to be alone on a beach with a book. BUT what I (again maybe you need this too) need the most is to give myself the love that I so freely hand out. I need to give myself a stern talking to and I think it would sound like this...
Amara,
For the love of all things holy and divine, put your f*^ing phone down. Go outside. Lift your head to the sky, no matter the rain, snow, sleet, or sunshine, and thank every ounce of your very alive, very well being for the breath you get to breathe today and every day.
I love you
Stop just consuming
Tilt your tech neck up
Now go create
Ohh and drink water
Xoxo๐
