07/22/2026
CHARACTERS LOCKED:
Magick Trick Rick: 54yo man, long grey straight hair, black leather top hat, sunglasses, white bathrobe, white sneakers, dry deadpan, slow Tai Chi energy, calm poker face.
Bigfoot: 8ft tall, brown shaggy fur, kind confused eyes, oversized red flannel shirt, ducking doorframe, tired union guy voice, dealing cards.
Vegas Vic: blond hair, blond lamb chop sideburns, white cowboy hat, black rhinestone jumpsuit, gold star belt buckle, karate stance, pit boss energy, says thankyouverymuch.
Alien Steve: green skin, 3 large black eyes triangle, skinny, floats 6 inches off ground, monotone, calls humans mouth-meat kindly.
The Political Pusillanimous's: Three nervous generic politicians in cheap suits, constantly checking poll numbers on phones, folding, sweating.
SCENE: Dim basement poker table, chips say TARIFFS, MERGERS, POLLS on them. Rick sitting calm.
ACTION: Rick barely moves. Politicians keep folding before flop.
DIALOGUE:
Bigfoot [dealing, exhausted]: "Alright, blinds are up. Try not to filibuster the pot this time."
Politician 1 [nervous]: "I poll tested folding... and folding polls well!"
Vegas Vic [pit boss, karate chop to table]: "Gentlemen, this is poker, not a press conference. thankyouverymuch!"
Alien Steve [floating, monotone]: "Fascinating. Mouth-meat bluffs itself and then apologizes."
Trick Rick [deadpan, places one chip with Tai Chi slowness, never looks up]: "I call... your entire platform."
In Chinese for Effect 🤷🏼♂️💨😂
CAMERA: Slow push in on Rick's sunglasses, orbit around poker table, close-up on shaking politicians
STYLE: Smoky comedy club lighting, hold all characters identical, poker chips sharp
DURATION: 15s, 9:16
