04/16/2023
I originally wrote this as a potential article for Spearing Magazine, but the magazine is going through some transitions, so I figured I would post it on my page first. I like it and I hope that you find it relatable. My thought was to include photos of spearfishing/freediving/boating/fishing families. Especially photos of the little feral ones, like mine.
Ebb and Flow
It’s fair to say that all of us are on a constant search of balance. Balancing our work lives, money, free time, hobbies, our relationships, and for some of us, the most important job of all, parenthood. Juggling all of these “correctly” is not only stressful but, damn near impossible. Raising a good human, at least to me, and probably to many of you parents and parents to be IS the most important job. Though, saying that, I think a parent needs to balance their time compassionately in order to raise a GOOD, well-rounded human. Our children NEED to see us be passionate about our hobbies, our work, and our relationships as much as they NEED us to be with them, giving our undivided love and attention.
“I am your daddy/mommy, but I am so much more than that and I want you to see why.”
I want to show/give my little boy the tools to have passion for all of the things that are important in his life, but also have the compassion to sideline certain aspects of his life, that are important to him and then come back to them, when the time is right, WITH the same fire as he had before. That to me shows true passion! Managing this ebb and flow balancing act will be a herculean task for him that I hope he can maintain better than I have.
There’s an odd feeling that comes over you after you become a parent, and that feeling comes from an inner voice constantly whispering to you, that YOU are never enough and that YOU are never doing enough for your child. I find this inner dialog to be absolutely deafening and overwhelming most of the time, but I know this voice is valuable and comes from a good place. This inner voice is there to make us try harder, to be better, to love more, to love more than you’ve ever imagined possible and… it works. For all of the great things that come from this ever-constant whispering, this inner voice is both an angel and a devil on your shoulders dictating the ebb and flow of your “free” time. A struggle that I haven’t yet came to terms with.
Balance. This is my new, ongoing hunt.
As a fairly new parent, (by the time you are reading this, my little Parker Finn will be 3 years old.) The Ebb and Flow of my spearfishing and photography life changed drastically over the last three years. I knew it would. I thought that I was going to be better with my time management and in doing that, I was going to get as much free diving in as possible. I was wrong. I’ve dove very little since he was born. I think it’s natural though and although I haven’t had much time in the water lately, I’m as passionate about the underwater world as I’ve ever been.
After a blurry 3 years of parenting, our new life is starting to come into focus. The ebb and flow of our time is starting to change and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe you don’t have kids. Maybe it’s your career that takes all of your time away from your hobbies. No matter what it is, we owe it to ourselves to make OUR time important. Of all of the important lessons that I’ve learned stumbling through parenthood, time management is the most important and it effects everything in my life. When it feels as though time is standing still, in reality it is flying by and it’s tragically apparent that time will not wait for us to catch up. Go spearfishing, take lots of photos, read everything you can get your hands on, write (it’s truly therapeutic), make time to simply sit, think and reflect, attack your career and your dreams like your life depends on it; because it does. Compassionately love the relationship with your significant other and show it; build, adapt, and grow together, lovingly spend quality time with your child/children, their future world depends on the lessons, compassion, the time, and the love that we show them today, and finally, after ALL of that is done, breathe.
These words are so easily written, though I fail daily trying to execute them in search of my own balance. I suppose writing this article and seeing it physically in front of me gives me hope that I can achieve this seemingly unattainable life balance, and still raise a strong, loving and compassionate human.
This article and photos are for all parents and families struggling with the ebb and flow of their precious time. You are seen! And, dedicated to our little ones that won’t know the loving sacrifices made until they are grown and have children of their own. What a wild, wonderful ride parenthood is thus far.
