11/29/2025
This week was one of the most beautiful yet heartbreaking of my life.
Last Saturday, I excitedly found out I was pregnant. How perfect to have 3 little ones, each would be perfectly 2 years apart, and all born in August. I was the happiest I’ve ever been those few days, beautiful conversations and memories including “the baby in mama’s belly” filled our life.
But as we were walking in to Thanksgiving dinner surrounded by dozens of family, I quickly began to lose that baby. What cruel timing on a day meant for gratitude. While I know our extended family would have been more than understanding, I refused to let this tragedy override the joy happening around me. I could at least control and choose that, if nothing else. I stepped away when I needed to break apart, but I fought to be present.
And I would have missed this moment if I didn’t:
Seeing both of my beautiful, healthy, thriving toddlers EAGER to climb onto the couch to nuzzle their newborn baby cousin, my grief didn’t feel hopeless. It’s hard to explain that seeing this moment felt like a hug and a knife in my heart at the same time. 🤍
This miscarriage stirred something new in my heart. I chose to bring my grief to the Lord instead of shutting down, and it’s made a difference since our last loss.
I have read and re-read this blog post that I found at least hundred times in the last 48 hours. “Hanging onto God During a Miscarriage” written by a pastors wife, a woman I’ve never met or heard of before now, but her words have helped me process everything I feel too numb to put into words. Many have shared their stories of loss with me after I posted about our first miscarriage in Emma’s birth story. 🤍 If you, or anyone you know is walking through miscarriage, I’m going to link that blog post below in hopes that grief can bring us community, healing, and point us towards Christ who redeems all. 🤍
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/blog/lonely-grief-hanging-god-during-miscarriage/
