05/06/2025
For most of my life,
I’ve been hearing:
Push.
Go.
Hustle.
Drive faster.
Cut the corner.
Post now.
Make money.
More, more, more—
Don’t stop. Don’t sit.
Don’t rest too long or you’ll be forgotten.
It’s the voice that doesn’t let me play guitar unless it’s productive.
That turns sacred time into a task list.
That says: do your meditation, sure, but get back to work immediately after.
That tells me the only way to be worthy is to be amazing.
The best.
Seen.
Celebrated.
Always producing.
Always performing.
Today, I recognize this is the voice of a culture that worships speed.
It’s the system’s voice, yes—but also the echo of something deeper.
It’s my father’s voice in part—though not how he intended it.
It’s the voice of being shaped in the presence of greatness,
and never feeling like I could match it.
It’s the voice of the world I was born into—
the classrooms, the highways, the magazines, the business meetings.
All of them said: You are what you earn.
You are what you prove.
You are what they see.
But more than all of that—it’s the voice that got inside me when I was three.
When I started noticing what got celebrated and what didn’t.
What got attention.
What earned love.
What felt like enough.
It’s the voice that got confused with identity.
It said urgency is power.
It said stillness is weakness.
It said if you stop, you’ll fall behind.
And now I’m seeing…
That voice isn’t mine.
It was installed.
It was inherited.
It was a survival code.
But it is not my truth.
It is not the signal I am here to follow.
I am unsubscribing from it.
And without it, something holy begins to return.
My soul’s original rhythm is not fast.
It’s not about getting somewhere.
It’s not about skipping steps or chasing light.
It’s about becoming light by being present.
Without that voice, I can breathe.
I can hear the guitar string hum without needing to record it.
I can walk without needing a destination.
I can create without needing a return.
I can be me—without the mask of momentum.
So I thank that old voice for trying to protect me.
But I don’t follow it anymore.
I follow silence.
I follow the still small voice.
I follow the rhythm of God in my breath.
And that’s enough.