10/19/2026
Happy Monday?
The sun is shining and it's my favorite season, but...It doesn't feel as happy this time around.
I did not share with you all at the time, but it's been 1 month since I gave birth to and buried our sweet little Trenton Michael
Thomas.
Our VERY surprise baby, but our VERY wanted baby.
Grief is a wild ride.
It feels like it has been a second and a lifetime in the same breath.
I find myself still dreaming about the joy that he would have brought to our family. If you know us, you know We LOVE babies. 💕
I find myself aching to hold him.
His little body...fingernails perfectly formed, sweet little fingers and toes and nose. Peaceful little sleeping position...they're burned into my memory and I'm thankful for that.
When I watch my 3 living sons, I wonder what this boy would have brought to the troupe. They're all so wonderfully different. Would he have been easy going and quiet like his big brother, Cleton? Funny and joyful like his middle brother, Weston? Feisty and loyal like our Re*****on?
Nora Jo, his big sister cried tears, actual tears begging God for a sibling...she's lonely and can't find her place with all the boys and boy cousins she's surrounded by. I wonder if Trenton could hear her prayers? If he could hear how deeply loved and WANTED he was? I hope so. She would have been the BEST big sister to him!
I wonder if he would have viewed big sister Octavia as a sister or more like an Auntie and he would have been best buds with Kahlil💕
Mondays are hard right now. The day we laid him to rest, but I take so much comfort in knowing that he is with the God who created him and avoiding this crazy world. I am thankful for that, while also broken that I don't get to love and raise him.
One thing I've learned is that someone can be smiling and appear happy, while carrying such deep pain. Be kind to everyone.
XOXO,
Becky
