11/01/2026
I almost always do my own hair and makeup AND take my own photos.
This time I did my makeup in the car on the 15 with products that were probably expired 😂 almost cried over my hair, realized my dress was too big and had to last minute rig it tighter. Very glamorous behind the scenes.
But for once, I handed someone else the camera.
I’ve spent over a decade taking self portraits and I love them, but there’s one thing you can’t give yourself when you’re on both sides of the camera: the experience of seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes.
Throughout the night I kept asking my bae to take photos of me, and there was still that little voice saying “ugh is he going to be annoyed?” or “just enjoy the moment, you don’t need photos.”
But I wanted the photos. And you’re allowed to want the photos. You’re allowed to take up space in them.
At one point I stopped posing and he said “no wait, keep going.” Then in front of the fireplace he took one, looked at it, GASPED and immediately started taking more.
And that was something I never experienced tbh
I spend so much of my life being that person for other women. Hyping them up. Making them feel safe enough to be seen. Showing them what I see from my side of the camera.
For once, I got to experience a little of that myself. It was really special.
When I look at these photos , I see someone powerful. Someone glowing. A woman in one of the happiest chapters of her life even though somehow it’s also been one of the fu***ng hardest. I see a woman I’m really proud of.
And maybe that’s why I believe so deeply in documenting yourself while you’re here. If it’s all temporary, might as well make it cinematic.
You don’t need a reason beyond wanting to feel beautiful. You don’t need to wait until you look different or feel more confident. You’re allowed to be the main character in your own life.
I’m just really fu***ng grateful that for once, someone I love was behind the camera to show me what he sees. ❤️ I’ll savor these photos forever. I knew what that feeling was but I kind of forgot to be honest and I’m so glad I got to remember.