07/18/2023
"Second Chances"
When Dana wrote to me about being a part of my valYOUable photography series, I wasn't prepared for her story.
So many hardships. So many mistakes. And yet, still...she is valYOUable. Loved by God.
If you have made mistakes in your life, you can know that you are never too far gone to make some changes.
Allow Dana's story to inspire you to come to God and allow Him to give you a fresh new start, too!
Here is Dana's story...
"I grew up with a father that was very physically mentally and verbally abusive. My mom was a good & loving mother when I was young. My mom was with him till I was nine years old and she left him. She then married a man who had custody of his three daughters and he was s*xually abusive toward my sister and then started going that direction with me when I was 13 years old. My mom left him and divorced him. After that she fell into a terrible depression and was almost suicidal. I used to call her from school when I was a freshman in high school just to make sure she was still in alive.
"Then she got a job as a manager at a hair salon about 20 minutes away from where we lived. She was gone almost all the time at work or going out with men. She would sometimes be gone for days at a time and the food supply was very low in the house. I had a sister two years older and a brother that was six years younger than me. My sister moved out and in with a friend. She said she was done with the nuttiness.
"So I was left to help take care of my brother which I had make sure was fed and up and ready for school in the morning every day for a while. I then went into extremely deep depression and cried every day. I started blacking out on the way home from school partly because in the beginning I was afraid I was going to find my mom dead at home. There was just nothing to go home to if she wasn’t there except for me and my brother.
"I then began to feel suicidal. I went in to my school counselor’s office & she’d asked how I was feeling and what was going on at home. Then I basically collapsed on her desk. She called the hospital & I was hospitalized with a breakdown for three months all through my summer. She also called the department of welfare and child services and I ended up in foster care at the age of 14. I was in 3 different foster homes before I ended up with whom I consider my foster parents home at the age of 16. My social worker was a Christian and she knew I was supposed to be with this particular family.
"I then went away to college Anderson University where I met my ex-husband. He was a very loving and Godly man. We dated all through college & got engaged halfway through. We then got married after college in 1993 when we were 22. His family became my family. Absolutely wonderful people. His mom and I were like best friends. My ex-husband was a wonderful man and was a wonderful husband and father to our children. I felt very blessed that God had led me to him. When I was six years old my mom had me invite the Lord into my heart & soon after I got baptized. I didn’t really know what I was doing but I know Jesus entered my heart. While I was with my foster family I did re-dedicate my life to the Lord and got baptized again by my choice. Jump ahead back to my ex-husband. I know God put us together. We were true soulmates.
"We had 2 biological sons in 1995 and 1997. Then in the year 2000 we adopted 2 little girls from the foster care system, who were ages 1 and 3. We were were also youth pastors and associate pastors for 11 years which I absolutely loved and felt like God gave me the opportunity to relive my teenage years in a much happier state while ministering to youth.
"We had so many happy years together. Then tragically after 19 years together after he stepped out of ministry he had an affair with a co worker. He kept lying but I knew. God put it on my heart and I even dreamt about his affair. When he finally admitted it I chose not to tell anyone because I had watched Joyce Meyer and she had talked about protecting people’s integrity. Also because we had worked with youth and were small group leaders in our home and I did not want what he had done to affect their view about God and Christians and see them as hypocrites. I chose to stay with him for five years because I loved him, his family and our family so much. I wanted our marriage. I only told my mom my best friend and a counselor what he had done. He said that he justified his affair because I struggled with an eating disorder since the age of 14 after I went into the hospital with my breakdown.
"My ex-husband did admit that he was wrong in using this as an excuse to justify his affair.
"I forgave him and I made him promise to stop the affair because I would not be the other woman and allow the affair to continue. I knew that he had stopped it. God gave me peace that he did not go back to her. I told my husband that we needed to go to counseling. He went once and he said he was done and if it still bothered me that I could continue to go to counseling which I did. He wanted to just sweep it under the rug as though nothing happened. I on the other had was devastated. It was tearing me apart. I was so broken & sad. I cried so much! My children would see me crying a lot as well.
"I taught in the same classroom as ex-mother-in-law. I would have to leave the classroom often to go into the chapel to cry. I could not hold it back. My heart ached like it never had before. No one knew what was going on with me. I ended up losing that job mainly because of that.
"In 2012, 5 years after his affair, my dad came back into the picture and I was caring for him when he got sick which drew up so many traumatic feelings from my childhood and the abuse from him. I also kept finding out more and more what my ex-husband had done in his affair that he lied about or kept hidden. At this time a man started pursuing me. I had been pursued by a couple of other men during my marriage, but I loved the Lord, my husband, his family, and my family way too much to ever let that happen. Even after my husband’s affair I never once thought in my mind.
"Well, HE had an affair. I’m gonna go have one! I didn’t want to. But when this man pursued I remembered being at this precipice & thinking, well he did this, I wonder what it would be like. And just like that, it made it easier to cross that line. I’m still responsible for my actions, but this is truth, I honestly believe I never would’ve had an affair, had he not had one.
"My husband caught me very quickly. I had a hard time breaking free from this man. I wanted him and my husband. My husband then decide he wanted a divorce. After our divorce I went through the darkest most terrible and horrifying time in my life. You see, when I was young and had a rough childhood. I didn’t know any different. Then, after meeting my ex-husband and his family and being a part of this wonderful, loving family…when I lost that, I was absolutely devastated like never before. I felt like I had no one, and nothing left.
"I also believed because I had an affair and did terrible things to cope I was going to hell, especially coming from being in the ministry. I didn’t know how to make it financially. I then proceeded to live a very sinful life. All the time living in dreadful, unspeakable pain and fear. It was like I was living in my own personal hell. I begged God for death if He would spare me from hell. I tried to kill myself twice, ended me up in the hospital in a coma and long stint in a mental hospital. I’m so, so happy now that the Lord spared my life! The first attempt, I know angels assisted in saving my life.
"I had been agoraphobic for 2 years and did not leave my home even to get food or the mail. I also went through benzodiazepine withdrawal. I never abused it; your body just gets addicted to it naturally. Then, when a doctor took it me off of it, cold, turkey I went through that terrible withdrawal. I was not even able to work for seven years and lived on disability, Medicaid and Medicare. I became homeless, but by the grace of God, was able to move into Hope Alive, a women’s Christian transitional housing place. I lived there for a little over a year. They helped me find discount housing.
"Seven years after my divorce I heard about a divorce care class that was held at my former church. I started the class and the healing began. Through this class and the workbook, I read the salvation story and it hit me in a way I can’t explain. The Holy Spirit came over me, and I realized how wretched I was. I began to understand profound the depth of God’s love and forgiveness. I realized He still loved me. He still wanted me and wanted to forgive me, cleanse me, and heal me from all of my sin and pain. What He did for me on the cross took on a meaning, like it never had before. My life began to change. I started going back to church. Got involved in a Bible study. I also went back to counseling. I began to develop Christian friendships. I stopped behaviors that were ungodly. I had a new peace in knowing I was going to heaven. Now it’s going on 13 years since my divorce and by the incredible grace of God, I take care of my grandson, whom I adore, two or three days a week.
"I’m able to work and even started my own business a couple of years ago that is doing amazing & God is helping it to grow!
"I am very involved with my church & small group. I’m able to be involved in the prayer ministry at my church. I volunteer for a ministry that helps women who have ever either been victims of s*x trafficking or have worked in the s*x industry. I also volunteer for Hope Alive, the women’s transitional housing place, because I lived there for one year. I help them once a year during their annual banquet. I am also involved in Revive school which is a two-year program, so that I have more biblical background and knowledge. I am also taking online classes to get my mental health coaching certification.
"15 years ago I felt the call on my life to become a Christian speaker and teacher and I’ve had several people that did not know me prophesy over me about this, as well as my friends that know me, confirming this calling. I also had a very vivid dream about this, and what God specifically was calling me to in life, about five years ago. God has now opened up doors to step into that calling at a place called Victory Cross, where I will be able to use my life experience and mental health coaching certification. I believe this is the beginning of God stepping into the calling he put on my life 15 years ago, and gave me the dream about, five years ago. There is also someone who wants to help me write a book about my life and what God has done.
"I am so excited for where God has me in my life now. I expectantly—with joy— wait to see what else my Father God has for me and the amazing life He has given me. I wake up every morning and I say this is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it. And I ask Him to order my steps give me divine encounters. I look for and see His blessings, and people to pray for— people to love on. I’m in shock and awe with where He’s brought me. I wanna share that with other people!!
"I want to live for and serve Him and others, and lead people to this miracle working, life-changing Father, Savior, Jesus, and life that he has planned for them. Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28 are my life verses. All glory to God & Jesus."
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Would you like to share your story through the valYOUable photography series?
Participants are responsible for their own travel and expenses to Angela in New Haven, Indiana and must sign a commercial contract which would allow permission to use their photo and story in various capacities. Each participant will receive 2 digital images from their session.
If you are interested, contact Angela Forker at [email protected] .
The views of the participant may differ from those of the photographer. The photographer wishes to show the value of life, regardless of people’s opinions and beliefs and asks that everyone would be respectful with their comments.
