04/18/2022
Yesterday, a year passed without this man in my life. Sounds weird to call him a man, since he's my baby brother. Sounds even weirder that a year has passed without him. 29 years with him flew by, and this one year felt like 29 more years, spent in grieving this sense of never ending loss. When I look in the mirror I see his expressions in mine. His eyes, his nose, his smile. Those weird filters that make girls look like dudes, I swiped through and my hands went cold because I looked like him. I wish I would've held him more, I wish I would've told him more that I love him. A year was spent with me thinking, talking, posting about nothing and no one other than him. My life has been anchored around his loss. But if I'm to survive this, I need to start living the way he'd want me to. So, for a while, this will be my last post about . He'll always be the center of my heart, but he would want me to try and push through the grief and not let it define me. He would want me to anchor myself to love, joy, life, friends, and to everything I can be. I'm going to try, broski. ❤️
