http://elizatanphotography.com/

Eliza Tan Photography, Nashville, TN (2026)

01/22/2022

Congratulations, Christy Smith and Morgan Smith! It was an honor to photograph your beautiful wedding.

08/28/2021

The Tokyo Olympic Stadium, also called the Japan National Stadium, is a 68,000-seat stadium designed by architect Kengo Kuma and cost 157 billion yen ($1.4 billion). Although it held no spectators, the stadium’s seats were strategically colored differently to give off the illusion of a full stadium.

08/27/2021

The opening ceremony of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games is performed in the presence of less than 1000 spectators during the pandemic.

11/16/2020

Lucas Lee
Korean American

Eliza: What was your family’s reason for first immigrating to the US?

Lucas: My dad's side of the family is kind of complicated because my grandfather was kicked out of his home in Korea during the Korean War. So he had to survive for himself and find ways to survive at the time. He just did a lot of jobs and, I believe, ended up working on the U.S. base in Korea. Eventually, he met my grandmother, and they decided to move to America for more opportunities because that's where everyone was going at the time to live the American dream.

They were actually quite successful. My grandfather owned a lot of businesses and restaurants and did really well at one point. Eventually, he used up all his money and blew it, but he definitely was really successful and made a lot early on. Definitely an entrepreneur. On my mom's side, it’s basically the same story. They wanted the best for their family as well. So they moved to the States for that reason.

My parents were born in Korea. Both of them moved to the States when they were 7-9 years old. So they were Fresh Off the Boat in the 1970s, 80s and basically grew up in America their entire lives besides their early childhood, my dad in Texas and my mom in Virginia. They went to college here as U.S. citizens, and I was born in Dallas, Texas.

At the age of eight, by the time I finished first or second grade, I moved to Korea, where my dad was working for a university at the time. There, I went to a Korean school for the first time. I only knew about five Korean words. I basically learned everything about Korea there because I was surrounded by no one who spoke English. After those five years, my dad changed schools and started working for the international school I graduated from.

Eliza: Culturally, would you identify more with Korean or American culture?

Lucas: I'd say more with American culture. I speak English. The first half of my life was all in America. The way I think, the way I talk is definitely more American. But I've been exposed to Korean culture a lot more than American culture. So, I'd say I have an equal understanding of both, and there's a lot of stuff about America I still don't understand.

Eliza: You speak English within the home or a little bit of Korean?

Lucas: English, mainly. Korean... only sometimes because it's easier to articulate some things in Korean. But my Korean is not very good.

Eliza: How old were you when you first realized that you were different?

Lucas: I guess for me, the situation is kind of almost the opposite. At my school there's a lot of “Korean Korean” people, even though they're considered international students. So instead of being in America and realizing that I was an Asian American, I had the opposite case of being surrounded by a bunch of Koreans and realizing I was American. I always thought I was Korean because I grew up in Korea. But around age 15 or 16, in my middle and early high school years, I realized a lot of my friends and the people I was close with couldn’t connect with me in the same way because they were not from America. They had never lived more than two or three years outside of Korea, so they really didn't understand anything about America. Even though they were my friends, they didn't have the same understanding that I did or the same background. None of them spoke English at home. They all spoke Korean. They didn’t think the same way I did. We were a little different in that small way. That's when I kind of realized they were not exactly like me.

Coming from America and Korea, having that understanding of both cultures, is fun because I can take a step back and look at each of them in an unbiased way. Korea is a bandwagon culture- Koreans are trendsetters. A trend will die really quickly. I always found that really funny because people would always be dressing up or do certain things only to just stop in a month.

When I ask my friends, “Guys, why do Koreans do blah, blah, blah?” They wouldn't really understand because that's just what they do. None of them ever think, “Koreans act like this.” American people don't think, “Why do Americans think like this?” Because that’s who they are. That's when I realized I was the only one among them that really thought, “Why do Koreans think this way?” I did so because I don't fully see myself as just a “Korean Korean.” And there's a ton of stuff that I just don't understand about America, too.

Eliza: You're able to take a step back and have a bird's eye view and analyze things objectively. So you identify as a Korean American. What does being Korean, or even being Asian in general, mean to you? And has that changed over the years?

Lucas: When I was young, before I even moved to Korea, my parents and grandfather rehearsed this to me. They would always say, “Lucas, you’re Korean American.” I didn't even know what they meant. When people asked me what I was, I would just say, “I'm Korean American.” Then they would ask, “Korean or American?” I would just say, “I'm Korean American.”

It took awhile to figure out what I was, and by the end of that was when I realized that I should stop trying to categorize myself as one or the other because I'm a combination of both.

Eliza: How old were you when you had this realization?

Lucas: I was a junior in high school, so 18.

Eliza: Do you find that when you're in a White context for too long you miss the Korean side of yourself and vice versa?

Lucas: Oh definitely, yeah. Being in Wilmore, I miss Korea and my “Koreanness” so much.

Eliza: Think about a time when you felt the most disconnected from your ethnic group. And tell me about it.

Lucas: It's probably when I was in Korea. After I figured out I am Korean American, not Korean or American, I was in a small convenience store that sold kimbap and ramen. It was a go to place because it was right across the street from school. I was with my friends and speaking English. This older man who was 70 or 80 years old, who lived in the neighborhood, started yelling and cussing at us, “Why aren't you guys Korean? Why are you guys speaking English? If you're not speaking in Korean, you should get out of here.” I didn't say anything. He just left. That incident kind of made me mad because it's not like only Koreans lived there. He lived right across the street from an international school and didn’t expect to hear English? I realized that's just the way some Koreans think who have no exposure to foreigners. At those moments, I would feel really disconnected because those Korean Korean people don't see me as Korean. Even from the way I dress, you could easily pick me out in a crowd walking down the streets of Seoul. Whenever people wanted to find me, they could really easily because I don't dress anything like the Korean kids my age.

Eliza: I'm curious- has being Korean ever been a conversation with your parents- because they're Korean American as well? Culturally would you say they're more American or Korean?

Lucas: They're definitely more American. I feel like they know they're Korean and they're proud of it, but they lived maybe eight years in Korea and then 30 to 40 years, for the rest of their lives, in the States.
Eliza: Has there ever been a point in time you felt discriminated against?

Lucas: It's kind of funny. In Korea, I was discriminated against for being an American. After I came to America, I got discriminated against naturally for just being Asian. I do find it offensive, for sure, and it's annoying, but I don't necessarily get as frustrated anymore unless it gets physical. If people don’t know the difference between North and South Korea, I just think that's funny. So many people asked me that my freshman week.

Eliza: That's good that you don't internalize it.

Lucas: I've definitely been to some states where people were really rude to me flat out. I was in Alabama once trying to get food with my mom, and the lady at the counter would not talk to us for some reason. At first, I was like, “Why is this lady being so rude?” My mom said, “Oh, she was just racist.” “Why is she racist?” “We're in Alabama.” There were just moments when I had to deal with being treated differently for reasons I didn't understand.

Just a couple months ago, my girlfriend and I were at Raising Canes in Nicholasville. The cashier said to us, “Hey, where are you guys from?” I was like, “I’m from Texas.” My girlfriends said, “I'm from Atlanta.” He said, “So what are you guys doing here?” I was like, “I go to school here.” He went, “No, no. Where are you guys from?” I said, “I’m from Korea,” and he said, “China.” I said, “No, Korea.” He said, “China.” “No, Korea.” And obviously I didn't really care because I'm not too sensitive, but he was pretty put off. He was just very ignorant. That happened really recently.

Eliza: Is there anything else you want to add?

Lucas: I feel like being able to accept that I'm both Korean and American gave me more self confidence. I used to get really anxious all the time. But after figuring it out, I was able to gain more confidence.

What really helped me find my place, my identity, was deciding to stop profiling myself. There's so many labels out there- like this person is just Korean or just American or just a third culture kid. I think if you want to be satisfied with who you are, you need to learn that you're different from other people. The fact you're different sets you apart from everyone else. You need to be proud of it rather than hide it.

Read Lucas’ interview along with 16 others on elizatanphotography.com/nysmseries

09/04/2020

My work on Now You See Me 2 was featured on Asian Creative Network. If you haven't already read the stories of these 16 amazing individuals, you can do so at elizatanphotography.com/nysmseries

09/02/2020

Honored to have one of my more abstract photos printed as the cover image of a new MDPI Open Access special issue journal publication. Congratulations to Dr. Wilson Shafer and Dr. Gary Jacobs on the book and significant accomplishment!

05/15/2020

Sebastian Rojas
Latin American/Latino/Colombia

Sebastian: My mom is White and from New England. My dad is Colombian and came to the U.S. when he was about 17. I identify as Latino, Hispanic, and biracial.

Eliza: Do you identify as White as well?

Sebastian: Generally, if it's a check off a box, I check off Latino first. If I can choose more than one box, I check both. But I check off Latino before I check off White.

Eliza: Is there a reason why you check off Latino before White?

Sebastian: That's a good question, actually… I mean, I guess one reason why is because I don't necessarily fit into the White box. Obviously, I don't look White. I grew up speaking Spanish as well. Being Latino is such a part of who I am. I don't know how to describe it.

Especially when I was a lot younger, people on TV were always White. I thought that if I had a White name or a White family, I could be better.

I'd watch a movie and be like, "Wow, this guy's so cool, but I could never be like that." or "Wow this person is really smart. I can never be like him." It was only later when I realized that I thought that way because I'm brown and from a Latino household.

The news and school told me Latinos weren't as good. In middle school, I grew taller and broader… wow this is getting a lot heavier… and people would lock their doors in parking lots while I walked by. It's pretty obvious why they did that, but I'm not a scary person. And their actions stood out to me a lot.

When I walk into a classroom, I can tell when someone looks at me different. The teacher has slightly lower expectations, which I've grown to embrace because that means when I do well that may just put me in their face. Especially when I go to a new place, and particularly if I'm visiting a new church, I'm always a little more apprehensive when I walk in. I have had a lot of bad prior experiences, so I was really nervous visiting churches for a practicum class. I would make sure I walk in with and stay with a White friend throughout.

One big "I'm proud to be Latino" moment for me was in 2015 when Hamilton the musical first came out. Hamilton being played by a Latino person completely flipped the game on Broadway news. Lin Manuel Miranda, who played Hamilton, said that the biggest problem, even to this day, is representation. It was very well done and, at the same time, very Latino.

As we are growing up, in classes, and even right now, a lot of the theologians we're studying are generally White Europeans. I'm not saying anything bad about the university because professors do tell me there are other authors out there that I can find and read.

Overall, I am Latino, and I do speak Spanish, but, on the other hand, I don't fit into 90% of stereotypes. How do I say this in a nice way?

Eliza: You don't have to.

Sebastian: Fair enough. I'm pretty good with school, I didn't grow up playing soccer, I'm Latino, but at the same time, I'm not what you expect from TV.

It led to a lot of questions like if I should even bother identifying as Latino because I come from a pretty good family, we don't have any financial troubles, and both my parents have college degrees and careers that are super successful. But at the same time, obviously, people look at me differently everywhere I go.

I feel a disconnect when issues of immigration come up on TV. I don't relate because my parents immigrated through legal processes. By the time I was born and could understand what was going on, they were all naturalized, voting citizens. I've come from such a good position-my grandparents, my dad, have all gotten such good work by working from the bottom up. I've heard so much from their stories about the crappy jobs they had to do. It really sucked for them because they're so highly educated in Colombia, but just because they couldn't speak English and they looked different, they couldn't go right into the big jobs that they deserved. But look at where they were to where they're at now. In my case, to have that position of privilege, I’m like, "I can't not speak up for these people." If I don't, I'm not doing what my parents and family intended for me. It’s a feeling of responsibility.

Sebastian: I used to be scared of sharing or speaking about my culture with others. About that time is when immigration stuff became front and center and the TV show Narcos came about, which caused people to have a negative view of Colombia.

Eliza: You mentioned that used to be worse. What made it better? What helped you transition from that to where you are now?

Sebastian: I guess taking time to myself to really wrestle with a lot of these questions. Because, before, it was just this nice perfect world where race didn't matter nearly as much. Now it's like, I am a different color, and others are also wrestling a lot with their identity. So they take it on in different ways, and it's a lot tougher, but I'm raised to absolutely not do that. So I had to wrestle with a lot of those questions on my own.

I remember how my mom was horrified at it all. I remember, in particular, after the Michael Brown shooting, when those police brutality stuff came out, my mom had a conversation telling me that if something like that happened, this is what I should do and how I should respond. That moment wasn't a lot of fun, and I've had to wrestle with a lot more questions from there.

Eliza: Would you say you've experienced discrimination on Asbury's campus?

Sebastian: Let me actually think about this one. As soon as I moved onto my hall, they were all very welcoming. They said, "We want to get to know you, to do stuff with us, hang out with us." But after there were some of the quote, unquote "hate White people" chapels, some people do look at me differently, some people came to me with questions, and some have had attitude changes… I've become much more noticed, and that's been a transition.

Eliza: Interesting. So has that been a primarily negative experience? People coming up to you after "race chapels"?

Sebastian: Uh huh. I'd say like, there were a couple people I was genuinely good friends with, but after those chapels, I started to just avoid and not talk to because all they were gonna do was complain and cuss about it.

Eliza: Like they were complaining to you, not asking you questions?

Sebastian: Yeah.

Eliza: That's unfortunate. Those are supposed to spark questions.

Sebastian: They said, "Are issues like this actually that bad? Do they actually happen? Wasn't this over after the Civil Rights Movement?" Also, there's been a lot of, "White people have these problems, too," which is a good point, but at the same time, there's just so many more problems for others. I remember talking to a professor about this, and he brought up the idea of condemnation versus conviction. In God, there's no condemnation, but he does convict us of things. Many people look at race issues and turn them from conviction to condemnation. So they just don't put up with it and get angry.

Eliza: They view it as being condemned?

Sebastian: Yeah.

Eliza: Gotcha. That's actually really insightful. What is your response to arguments like, "Wasn't this dealt with in the past?"

Sebastian: Honestly, whenever they're like that, I just don't talk to them at first because they're still mad. Generally, after they've calmed down, they're willing to sit down and have conversation. After you sit down and talk it through, they agree on so much more than they seem to do initially. It's just that their gut reaction is, "You make me feel bad." After you sit down and talk about it, it really starts becoming more agreeable and real. Not to say that they're changed. That's not how it happens, for sure.

Eliza: But being informed helps ignorance because that's all it might be.

Sebastian: Yeah.

Eliza: That's awesome. So you've been able to have conversations like that when people were willing?

Sebastian: Yeah.

Eliza: That's really great. Because I think a lot of people stop at, "Well, I'm just gonna avoid them and not talk to them." And then their worldview never gets shaken.

This is the FINAL story in Now You See Me Part 2. To read all the interviews in the , visit elizatanphotography.com/nysmseries

05/06/2020

Diana Fulmer
Native American/German

Diana: I am half Native American and half German. My father and mother grew up in Oklahoma, and Oklahoma is where the Trail of Tears happened. All the Native Americans were pushed into one state... it was very crowded.

Eliza: Do you know what tribe your mom is from?

Diana: Her tribe is Creek Indian.

My mom was adopted when she was five, but she was just three when she was put into an orphanage. It was just awful. Back then, a lot of families would abuse and starve Native American babies. Several times, the Humane Society came into homes finding my mom starved. Then she would just be moved to the next foster home.

My adopted grandmother-I consider her my grandmother 'cause she has been so loving-said my mom would store food in her mouth underneath her bed 'cause she was scared that she wasn't gonna get anything else.

My mom said to me, "I'm so happy that you have opportunities because of the way you look." I was a blonde and White baby blessed with German looks. My third-grade-year-old self would tell me that being Native American doesn't mean anything. It's just something your mom says. I have no right because I don’t look Native American.

Media played a HUGE role in my feelings toward Native Americans. Growing up, the Barbies were all just blonde and White. It made me want to just be White. I was so thankful I looked this way because this is what is acceptable. And also, in movies, who was the star? The blonde. Nowadays it's different. But that was the 90s and early 2000s. Native American isn't really an announced culture.

When I was in fifth grade, I moved to a different county. There was a tribe there, Mohawk. I met this boy who was full Native American. He had long hair. I made fun of him for it. He said, "Stop making fun of me. It's part of my tribe." Looking back, it saddens me that I did that.

I was only made fun of when I claimed to be Native American. In history class, I raised my hand-I was actually really scared to do it-and said,"I'm half Native American. My mother's full Native American." A group of African American individuals raised their hands and said, "Can you please tell someone who is not Native American to not say they are because it's offensive and not something to be shared. It's not funny." The teacher didn't know what to do in that moment, so he went, "Okay, next topic. Next slide." It was very uncomfortable. I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn't listen. They said, "But you don't look like it, so why do you say you are?" So I let it go and shut up.

Growing up in grade school, people would ask, "What is your ethnicity?" I look White, so I put "White" down for the first bit. And then later on, I was like, I'm half Indian. I should take that. So if I don't get two options, I put "Other" now. Because I should be proud of it. It's part of me. It's part of my mom. It's saying to my mom she does matter. It is difficult when people are like, "No you're not. You're not Native American. You're probably one of those White people who are 1/16th." And I'm like, "No, I'm 50% Indian." I've always had to justify it.

The time I felt most disconnected from my culture was really at school. Everyday was like an act, a little game in which I had to pretend that I was fully White. In grade school, we were a bunch of meanies who liked to call each other names. There was the Asian group, the African American group, the Portuguese group, the Mexican group... and I was in the White group. You were stuck in your groups.

Nowadays, I've noticed that schools have gotten better at mixing. But in the 90s, it wasn't like that. When you are separated like that, you tend to look at the other groups differently for no reason. No one was innocent; we all attacked each other. That was the time when I felt most separated from Native Americans.

Eliza: There was no Native American group.

Diana: Yup. I was actually with kids, sadly, whose parents were part of the K*K. I went to school in Kentucky. They would literally watch the Super Bowl together, and I got invited, but said I had plans. There was no way I was going to say I was Native American. No way at all. If I did, it would be bad. I was fully separated. I felt scared and ashamed of it all the time.

Also, it was more than just not accepting my ethnicity. I didn't find the way I looked appealing at all. I didn't accept my personality. I was really just degrading everything about myself in every way.

Eliza: Could you tell me more about the process of how your mindset changed?

Diana: It took forever for me… It wasn't until I went to China that I actually truly started to love myself. That China semester abroad probably changed my life. I came back and changed my major and everything. I became a communications major because I wanted to share and communicate love to others and to people of other ethnicities. I wanted to love myself and others. It was a dramatic change, you know. It solely reversed everything and what I was going to do.

Being with the Chinese people, they didn't care. They just... they were Chinese. That's how they saw themselves. And I was like, "You know what? I want to see myself like that. I'm Native American, and I'm German. That's who I am. And that's it." What really did it was these dance nights. They'd be dancing day and night in the parks, playing music without a care in the world. And I was like, "I want to dance in a park and be myself." They were so happy even with their cramped living conditions and the city smog... they were happy.

Then I come back to Kentucky and it's blue skies and grass for forever. And I'm like, "Wow. This is amazing. Why am I not happy?"

Eliza: Why are we depressed?

Diana: Yeah. Why are we complaining about wanting coffee, like, "To start my day I need coffee." You know?

It wasn't until when I became a Christian that I started to change my mind processing.

All my life, my thought processing was, "There could be a God, but I need to see him first." Things started to change with the Salvation Army, actually. My aunt was a social worker in the Salvation Army. She called me up one summer and asked,"Would you like to have a summer job?" I was like, "Well, yes, I need money in my life. Why not?" She said, "It's a housekeeping job at a Salvation Army camp."

Once I got there, I had no idea what schedule I was getting into. I had no idea. It was very spiritualized, very Christian. And so the first week, I'm just laughing at it. I'm hating on it so much and making fun of it. The third week-and I'll never forget this-they called all the female staff into a conference room to pray for some children. I was like, I hate prayer. I really hope no kid walks up to me. Sure enough, one had me in sight. I went, Here we go. I felt like I wasn't able to. I shouldn't. I wasn't in the right place. But she comes up to me and she literally has the same story I do, where she doesn't feel loved and accepted. She walked away crying, and I realize I'm crying, too. Then I noticed that, not only was I praying for her, but I was praying for myself the whole time. That night, I was crying in the bathroom because I realized that I was saved. I literally accepted Christ at night, in my bathroom, crying.

Eliza: Beautiful.

Diana: The next morning I was a whole other person. I was like, this is great. I saw the world differently. I was more open to learn. I was more open to accept people. I was willing to listen- that was my main problem. I was not listening. I was hearing but I wasn't grabbing it because I didn't want to.

It started with love first. And then when I came to Asbury, I learned not only about love but about culture and accepting culture. Loving yourself was a big thing because I didn't truly love myself.

I'd never read the Bible before. I'd never looked into it. I'd only had Sunday School, so going in depth into what stuff meant in Hebrew and Greek, I was like, "Oh, goodness, do I need to remember all this?" But then learning about how the Bible was written, all the people involved in that, and how long it took... just to fulfill a promise... brought about a realization of, "Wow, He did all that to fulfill a promise just because he loves me." And if he loves me that much, then I should love myself.

Eliza: Hmm.

Diana: And I should accept who I am. Because if I'm not accepting a half of me, then I’m not accepting any of me. Because that's all of me. I broke down a lot. I'm not gonna lie. I cried a lot here because I didn't realize how much I hated myself only because of the culture and what it said to me. I was privileged, I am still privileged, only because of the world and how they see me, but my mom isn't. And it's just hard. It's like a double-edged sword, trying to love my Native American heritage. But the world is telling me I should let it go and take it away.

I feel most connected to my heritage at Pow Wows. We all come together from different tribes and see ourselves as family. I remember doing the rain dance with my mother… it was one of the best things ever. When you're dancing in a circle together, arms linked...just dancing...I felt like how I felt with the Chinese during my study abroad in China. I was without a care in the world.

The Native Americans accepted me. None of them assumed that I wasn't one of them. They asked if I was Native American. I said, "Yeah." And they said, "Okay. Come." They automatically welcomed me. And I was like, "What?" But, no, they wanted to dance with me. They wanted to basically appreciate where we come from. Together. Oh, man, it was amazing. And the meat legs are amazing. They're LARGE. Great, great food.

Eliza: What about the German side of you, do you feel connected to that?

Diana: I've always been connected, especially after my grandfather looked us up. Apparently I had an ancestor who fought in the Indian War. So that's pretty interesting. He got shot in the side. Also, I know for a fact that my family on my mom's side did not use $20 bills because Andrew Jackson was on the $20 bill. He's the one who announced the Trail of Tears.

Unfortunately a lot of blood, sweat, and tears happened and went into creating me and others as well. It wasn't like they just moved… many tribes died along the way, and it was a process that took years. My mom and I have walked trails, but only five miles because my mom can't walk very well because she was abused. She’s having surgery right now, actually, to be able to walk more. She said, "I will walk until I completely cannot." She is a very, very strong woman.

When I was born, the first thing she did was check my feet to make sure I was normal.

"It is such a blessing," she said, "to see someone who has the blood of my own." Looking at me was the first time she saw someone of her blood. It meant a lot. She doesn't remember her father and mother. She does see my adopted grandmother as family, but it's different when it's your own, especially when it’s a child. It motivated her to get through life. She would do anything for my sister and me because she loves us so much.

I just want to say that I am very glad that this conversation is becoming more prominent. People actually are noticing that this is an issue.

We are supposed to be together. We're not supposed to be separated. We're supposed to appreciate each other's foods, music, clothing, everyday life, languages, little phrases... Everything that makes you different is special. You're supposed to be different. Everyone is supposed to be different.

Eliza: You definitely have two rich ethnic heritages within you. That's so unique. Being where you are right now and having accepted yourself more, how would you summarize what it means to you to be Native American, and, more broadly, who you are?

Diana: I am Diana. I am half Native American, and I'm half German. That's who I am. I fully accept that now.

Eliza: Thank you, Diana.

To read the rest of the interviews in the , visit elizatanphotography.com/nysmseries

Eliza Tan Photography

01/22/2022

08/28/2021

08/27/2021

11/16/2020

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