09/07/2026
For 2 years I couldn’t talk about it
I was gagged
Literally by the court
Everyone knows divorce is expensive
But no one knows the true cost
Mentally
Creatively
Spiritually
And of course fiscally
It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done
Choosing myself
My needs
My desire
My vitality
My energy
Future me
Over comfort
Over certainty of outcome
Surrendering to the “I don’t know what’s going to happen but it’s got to be better than this”
I’m so proud of myself
And yet the pain is still there
The grief
The not knowing what could have been
If things were handled differently
Letting go of the toxic hope
You could have changed it
Somehow
The anger
The injustice of it all
Stewing right beneath the surface
Yet the Jewish new year approaches and
I tenderly await the cleansing waters of forgiveness
Forgiveness of myself
Forgiveness for everything
Moving forward
To a new life
That is the most uncertain of all
Thank you so much Rita Newmeyer for capturing it all, mentoring you and fellow photographers is literally raising me from the dead of it all