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VagabonDee

There is room for a different narrative - one beyond the degree, work, retirement one. A visual documentation of adventures from an aspiring vagabond.

And I want to be a walking example of it - challenging the conventions one flight at a time :) Challenging conventional living one flight at a time :)

10/11/2018

The grass is always greener has never felt so relatable until now. Although it sounds contradictory, the fact that living a free, adventure-filled life isn't everything has been such a valuable lesson for me this year. What I mean by that is that even achieving your dreams isn't going to solve all your problems in life. That goes for finding true love, getting rich, and yes, even travel. In the book, "Sapiens", (which is probably my new favourite book), Harari talks about how we all go back to our baseline happiness, whether that means recovering from a devastating heartbreak or becoming a millionaire.

Sure, I was over the moon for my first few months after finishing uni and living in Buenos Aires. But the magic faded after it became routine again, and I would not say I am happier than when I was finishing my last year of uni in Canada.

Buenos Aires is city that is so alive and beautiful, but Calgary was quiet and peaceful and close to nature. University was stressful and filled with days studying alongside friends, and freelancing is sometimes discouraging and filled with freedom to go on adventures if one day you're tired of working. Speaking Spanish everyday is exciting and opens up a world of a million new potential connections, but is exhausting and makes me feel like I can't fully express myself. Speaking English everyday was comforting, and was a world I knew, a world where I was funny and could have deep conversations, but it was limiting and only allowed me access to one perspective.

I guess I'm trying to say that I am not happier because I'm abroad and . But I'm not saying I'm sadder either. I'm just saying that nothing external will give you the feeling of fulfillment you're waiting for. Because every world has its benefits and drawbacks. Sometimes I miss Canada, but I know that's only because the grass is greener, and if I were to return to Canada I would miss Argentina. So this is my vow to miss Argentina while I'm in it, and love the grass that I have now. Because I won't have it forever, and when my new grass comes around, this grass will be greener than I am seeing it now. So in short, love your grass, because it's greener than you know.

📷: Aisha Sajid

08/31/2018

"If you couldn't bring a camera, would you still travel?"

I thought about this question a lot after coming across it. In this day and age of beautifully curated travelgrams, I wasn't so sure I could answer yes to that question. So I DECIDED TO DELETE SOCIAL MEDIA. Obviously THIS is social media, but I what I meant to say is that I decided to delete my social media apps from my phone, and even here, posting on this page feels different than posting on my personal Facebook.

Usually, I am one to always be posting 10 things to my Instagram story a day. Taking beautiful photos of my travels. I started to feel suffocated. Suffocated by this pressure to prove to everyone that I am LIVING MY BEST LIFE. And the thing is, on the other side, I often felt depressed. "Why am I not excited even though I am on an adventure of a lifetime?".

I wanted to know that I loved my life, and not just the idea of it. To be honest, the idea of it is still better. But taking away the pressure of showing the world what I'm up to has alleviated so much of my anxiety. Now everytime I look at Instagram or Facebook from a desktop, I hyperventilate. It took some time to get used to it, but now I feel free. My Buenos Aires gets to be mine, and I love my moments undocumented just as much as I love them documented - if not more. We often take photos of what we are afraid of losing. But one of the things travel teaches me is that everything is temporary. And not being able to capture every single moment has allowed me to just enjoy them as they come. As my friend told me "What would be the worst thing about losing my camera? That I wasted time taking pictures instead of enjoying the goddamn view!"

UPDATE: Currently living in Buenos Aires, where it is freezing and sometimes it's hard but I genuinely love it here, and I love how little I've posted about it.

11/14/2017

Yoga, sunsets, mountains. Doesn't get much more California than that.

11/05/2017

You don't have to travel to live a fulfilling life. This probably seems contrary to the narrative I write on social media. Living out of a backpack, befriending strangers everyday, hiking up mountains and through jungles - that is my fulfilment but it might not be yours. I don't believe we are all meant for a nomadic life - that would be CHAOS. But I believe that we have narratives we've learned to suppress under expectations. I believe those narratives are ours if we want them to be, and that's moreso the message I'm trying to relay. It might be building a startup from scratch in your dream city. It might be starting a family and raising your own children. It might be working as a female in a male dominated field. It might be becoming a professional dancer. It might be changing policy to improve education. Your narrative does not have to be travelling the world. But whatever it is, it should be YOURS. Not one you are choosing because you think you have to, or one you are choosing because you are afraid it's the only one.

10/28/2017

I get mad FOMO whether that’s about seeing more countries or taking more jobs, and I always feel like I could and should be doing more - that I should be doing more to build my career, that I should be constantly improving my creative skills, that I should be doing everything l can to be successful. And I kind of hate that this has become my thinking. So instead of doing the millions of work I normally do, I’m committing to my weekly mountain getaway, even if there are a million things I “should” be doing. Sometimes it’s okay to take a day to enjoy life - actually no wait, that’s what we should do above everything. A few months ago I was scheduling work around my life, instead of my life around work. I prioritized the things that made me excited to be alive instead of the things I felt I was supposed to be doing, and my ability to survive hasn’t changed, so drowning myself in work is starting to seem totally illogical now. It’s hard to find that adventurous carefree girl these days, and I feel like I’m slowly losing that person, but maybe this is what I needed to go through to remember.

10/25/2017

It's kind of a funny thing to find comfort in chaos. I read somewhere that some people are born with the ability to find satisfaction in day-to-day life. Then, there are those born with an innate desire for great adventure. I don't know how true this theory is, but I do know that I've always felt a draw to the unknown. Something about the mundane terrifies me senseless, whereas the possibilities of the unpredictable life make me feel at home. When I'm scared sh*tless is when I feel alive, and strangely enough, that's where I find peace.

10/24/2017

One of the most interesting people I met this year was a doctor who prescribed people nature. He told me that people who have a relationship to the outdoors have better physical, mental, and physiological health. I don't know what science this is based off of, but I am pretty sure I'm a better person than I'd be without the outdoors. It's a beautiful reminder that the way the sunlight looks on the snow, the way the cold air fills your lungs, the serene silence, are reasons to be excited to be alive. Sometimes it's hard to justify spending a day to go on a hike, and people ask me how I find time with everything on my plate. But I'm promising to make my mental health a priority, and to me that means making the mountains as (if not more) important than the responsibilities. If you can, please take a day this week to enjoy nature, even if it's just an open field, or little lake. You deserve it :)

10/20/2017

Isn't it crazy that with just one flight, a couple hours in the air, your entire life can take a 180? This was the thought going through my head when I was leaving my quiet, student-working-part-time life in Canada to what would become the beginning of my crazy, free, digital nomad life. Just with a flight, your life can go from completely familiar to completely unpredictable. I always wonder how it would have been to make that transition pre-airplanes. Would we have been in less shock if the change of life took place after days on horseback or months sailing across seas? I'm not sure. But It always feels totally disorienting to go from one social life, one routine, one way of life to another in a matter of hours. This was also the thought process I had on my eventual flight home - which I kept putting off until I literally had to (to return to school and finish my degree back home 🙃). This time, instead of a sudden change to the unknown, I was going back to the familiar and somehow that was scarier. It's now been almost 2 months and the life I so suddenly flew away from feels like a dream. I've taken to journal writing because it feels like that life is slipping away from me the more adapted I become to my quiet life again. While recalling what my life looked like just a few months ago, it seems insane. Instead of waking up to make it to class, I was preparing for a spontaneous Scottish road trip with a guy I'd just met the day before. Instead of being late for work I was missing my flight to Spain and making a week-long trip out of my layover in Morocco. How rather than coffee date catch-ups, I was reuniting over a weekend in Slovenia with a friend I made in South Africa. Now my life looks the same day to day, and interestingly, I feel okay about it. That scares me. How comfortable you can become with a quiet life. I understand now how people end up never leaving their quiet lives for what becomes decades. Part of me thinks I could leave my nomadic life as a dream from my youth, but a bigger part of me thinks I'll always want that sudden transformation. That over a quiet life, I'll always choose the rude awakening of a flight to another part of the world and the totally unpredictable.

10/19/2017

Salzburg, Austria | Salzburg Global Seminar Internship - aka, how my life took a 180 in a matter of weeks

One of my first bosses always said "What's for you won't go around you" (s/o Taylor). That's a pretty frustrating thought when you put your blood, sweat, and tears into something, and it's just simply not meant for you. But this proved totally true, when I was rejected time and time again for internships in Europe. Long story short, after I had given up, I received an offer for the best thing that has ever happened to me - an internship at Salzburg Global Seminar. I look back now on all the rejections I got, and see each rejection as a stepping stone towards what was actually meant for me. Things don't go your way because they're not supposed to. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we will find peace when life takes you by surprise - because sometimes that surprise is an unexpected year in Europe. I promise your hard work is never in vain - the payoff will rarely come in the form you expect it to, because it's so much better than you could even imagine.

PS if you think you'd want to live/work in an Austrian palace, meet some of the world's biggest leaders, and change your entire life, apply: salzburgglobal.org
Open to answering any questions :)

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