09/10/2025
Today is World Su***de Prevention Day. Most of you know, but for any of you that don’t, I lost my brother Ben to su***de in 2014. In honor of Ben, I’d like to share that you are not alone in your struggles. That your neighbors, your boss, your colleagues, friends, family - all those people that seem to have it so together, struggle too. Whether it is with mental health, addiction, social media, paying the bills- everyone has their struggles.
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I also want to point out there is a difference between normal struggles and deeper struggles - depression and anxiety to name a couple. Knowing that difference is difficult, and can be shameful or difficult to come to terms with the fact that we need a bit more help. Here is a very true, very recent story of my own to help you understand what that journey looked like for me, and may feel like for you.
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“I should be able to do this on my own”, “My situation isn’t as bad as others, I am ok”, “Life is hard and heavy, but isn’t it for everyone right now?” “Things have been wayyyy worse in my life, and I survived that. I can do this”, are some of the things I found myself saying. Sound familiar? After repeating these things in my head for months, it got me thinking I may be in a spot where I need more help than I realized. I had considered getting on anxiety/depression medication previously, but was hesitant for several reasons (um, hi, suicidal ideation side effects, my brother having killed himself, getting on/side effects during a busy/full/hard time, how long do people stay on, what if I want to stop, etc, etc).
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I see a therapist (kinda) regularly, but was lucky enough to have a visit to establish primary care (that I scheduled months ago) coming up. I was mostly nervous to go through my history (lots of trauma to relive there- Ben’s death, multiple miscarriages, death of my MIL) and hoped my doc would actually listen and take the time to get to know me. He did, in fact, take the time. He listened to all my hypochondriac worries and didn’t make me feel silly. He really took the time to go through my chart with me and talk through things. He mentioned it may be beneficial to try medicine for my anxiety along with therapy.
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“Oh great.” I initially thought, “Another doc pushing meds”. But throughout the appointment, it kept coming up. I felt more and more comfortable asking questions. All of the reasons I haven’t been comfortable taking anxiety/depression meds, I was able to ask about. My doc patiently explained each answer and I thought more about it. I wasn’t going into the appointment thinking about getting on meds, but felt comfortable with it by the end.
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I started them a few weeks ago, and won’t even feel the full effects for another few weeks, but my husband did say I am less grumpy - so whatever, maybe they are working. I also have noticed myself laughing more recently, which hasn’t happened day-to-day very often in a long time.
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The moral of the story is - I noticed something recurring for a few months, I realized I may need a bit more help, and I am doing the next right thing for myself. This isn’t a story about getting on meds, or even that this was the right choice for me or for you.I hope that it helps you see there isn’t always a clear indicator or event that makes it clean cut that you may benefit from extra help.
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Helping yourself may be in the form of talking to your doctor like I did, but it also may be talking to a professional/therapist, feeling safe enough to talk to a friend or family member about how you’ve been feeling, it may be attending a group meeting (survivors of sucicide, grief groups) virtually or in person, or, in severe cases, texting or calling 741741 or 988 Crisis Support Lines (which are very helpful and awesome).
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My hope is that you see you are not alone. You are not crazy. You belong here. You are loved. You deserve to be happy. Do the hard thing, take a courageous step, and be good to yourself. You deserve it.
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Xoxo,
C
