07/09/2023
This year has been one of major changes, which has resulted in my being MIA from the photography scene.
I started attending therapy sometime last year and continued it into this year. This allowed me to process things and in return somewhat discover myself and share things about myself to my husband that I would have otherwise kept bottled up.
Then my husband and I welcomed our second daughter in April, completing our little family unit of two beautiful girls. π And while this is what we wanted as a family, two children, no one talks about the sadness that creeps up on a mother, knowing that chapter of your life is over. There's such a feeling of finality knowing that tiny human's "firsts" will be your "lasts". Despite that sadness, I am so grateful for my girls and would be lost without them. I know just how lucky I am and thank the universe for giving me not one, but two precious gifts.
Fast forward to the end of May and cue the heartbreak. Sadly, we had to say goodbye to our longtime companion Tonka aka Bubba. Our beloved pet, best friend, secretary (we both work from home), confidant, vacuum cleaner (eating anything and everything dropped on the floor from the table), floor potato, and so on. We brought him home as a wee pup and had the pleasure of having him for 11 wonderful years. He was indeed our favorite "hello" and our hardest "goodbye". The emptiness that fell over the house in the days following his passing was tangible and the silence deafening. To no longer hear the pitter patter and click-clack of his feet on the floor (the soundtrack from the last 11 years) increased the heartbreak.
All of these major changes hit so close together and some days it's hard to process it all. Other days are overwhelming and then there are good days that make their way through the darkness.
While I was on maternity leave, one of my favorite things to do was sit on our porch and just be. Be still, be quiet, enjoy the warmth, and listen to everything going on around us -- birds chirping, cars passing by, wind in the leaves, all of it. Sitting and listening turned into watching and discovering all of the wildlife around us that I miss while working my day job.
However, the universe gave me the gift of being reminded why I love photography and started doing this in the first place...to capture those moments that would otherwise be gone.
I started this post with the intention of simply sharing the wildlife I was able to capture (in all of its majestic glory) while I was on maternity leave, but the emotions were welling up inside of me. So instead, I'm taking a moment to be raw and real...and to shed light on the importance of mental health.
It's taken me quite some time to be ok with admitting that my mental health suffers more times than not. I used to be ashamed, but this year (with the help of therapy) my outlook changed and strengthened.
With that being said, I am a safe space for anyone needing to reach out regarding mental health now and always. β€οΈ
If you've made it to this point in the post, thank you for taking the time to read this and for allowing me to be deeply personal for a moment.
Without further ado, the wildlife photography as promised. Enjoy. ππ½