03/07/2024
I wanted to let everyone know that this is not a business or a job, this is purely a hobby that my doctors have recommended me to try again. A type of rehab if you will. Do something familiar and fun to me. Seek joy, and play, try to bring better days.
Everyday I wake up and I know if it’s a “better” day that I can do 1 and only 1 major thing that day. Such as, going to the grocery store, going to a doctor appointment, watching my son play a sport, or trying to photograph a friends family. These are all things I have to sleep up until the moment I absolutely can, have someone else drive me, and then after I might do one of these things, I am simply spent. It can take days or even weeks sometime to get another “better day,” and by better I mean I can do 1 thing that day, if I’m really lucky maybe 2. Believe me I wish I could go back to work, I wish things were different. I am working every day to better myself, but I might make 1 step forward and then 13 steps back, but at least I’m inching forward.
So for anyone who might see these pictures and think hey she’s all better now, please know I am not. Everyday is still a huge struggle and I am fighting every single day, and I will continue to fight every single day because I am a fighter and it would be awesome to get better, but that unfortunately is not in my cards. So for now, I will just try to make tomorrow better than today.
Please know I appreciate everyone that has given me a chance to have some sense of normalcy in my life. Sorry for anyone I have passed out on during a session, and thank you all for being so gracious, allowing stupid long editing times, and just giving me a chance to feel like myself again, if only for a little glimpse. It all meant more to me than you will ever know.