03/20/2026
The end of life
I’m in the midst of end of life issues now, with a family member. We are powerless over the fact that the end will come but are not powerless over how we lived our life before the end. Or, how we say goodbye to those we love.
The other day, right before hitting the road, I came upon some folks who had just seen a cougar not far from where this one was on his final day. I didn’t see the cat but through pictures felt like I had and that was powerful. Maybe for the first time I truly understood why our photos and stories are so important to those who can’t be out in the wild. I know now that photos shown just right and stories told just right can bring the scene alive for others. That is powerful!
This was an old tom, very thin and not in good shape. There were reports that he had been hit by a car. How he climbed up the hill, off the road, I have no idea because he was unable to use his back legs. Ironically, when folks found this cat, I was hiking out to a spot where I could watch a cached cougar kill on Soda Butte Creek. I didn’t see a cat there but did see an unknown single wolf. I was about 150 yards up stream from the carcass and, unfortunately, slid on ice, which propelled me onto the ice of the creek, right before an opening. At once, the wolf spooked from the noise and I was staring into the cold, dark unforgiving current of open water. It had been quite a hike to the spot due to deep snow. The day before I found the carcass while standing on a ledge right above it. I was just investigating raven activity and there was no obvious sign of food anywhere. The elk was so well covered that I nearly missed it. It was fascinating to see how well cougars cache their meals to keep others from finding and stealing.
When I left the creek, I found a mob of photographers surrounding this cat. Rangers had arrived and moved everyone back. Apparently, folks had walked up the hill to the poor suffering cat. For the first time I stood still and watched death unfold, documenting it on film. The rangers tested the cat to see if he could move but it was obvious that the injuries were too severe. Rangers don’t always in interfere in the cycle of life, generally only making exceptions for an animal with a human caused injury, or if they are dying too close to the road. Because this cat had been hit by a car, and was lying in full view of the road, this was a perfect time to dispatch a suffering animal. They shot him and he died.
Later that night, on FB, photographers were posting photos of a cat taking a nap in the open. People were not happy when they found out the true story. It is interesting how far some people will go for Facebook bragging rights and a good reminder that we can’t believe everything we hear.
My mom won’t be put out of her misery but her end is near. She will be helped to the other side. But, before she goes, her family, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, get to spend some good time with her. We get to watch old wounds melt away like butter in a sauce pan and discover that the fights don’t matter, family does. Memories. I am finally remembering only the good times - how hard she worked to raise a family and to give us better than average chances at a good life. I get to watch how very much she adores my youngest son - her appreciation for his unending love shines over her.
We don’t need to wait until the last minute to heal old wounds.
