01/11/2022
Hey all! Phew, what a year 2021 was... I've been wanting to write a post here for quite some time, but man, time is elusive. First of all, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who supported me and my small business in any way - it means more to me than you know and I appreciate you all so much.
This year was a rough year for me on a personal level, and as much as I didn't want it to, personal struggles can affect business, especially when your business is such an intimate thing. I truly want to pour my heart and soul into every session, but when your heart and soul are hurting, it can be really difficult.
The peak of it really came for me right around my busiest season - I lost my little brother in late September. For anyone who has ever loved an addict (and I know that unfortunately, so many others can relate), you know the strain and the heartache. I mourn him so much, and I mourn the relationship that I wish I'd had with him in his last couple years. The grief, anxiety, and guilt of it has been really difficult to try to deal with.
Being that this happened right in the middle of my busiest time, I had to of course push through. While at times, it was such a welcome distraction, and I had so many clients who were wonderful and supportive in offering their condolences and understanding, there were other times where my grief would sneak up on me in the morning and wouldn't let go. I had to basically get through the holidays before I felt that I could take a breather - I still have three young kids that I'm trying to be my best for, too.
Last year brought lots of other struggles, too, but of course, that was the worst. Since I've had a little time to think and feel in the first couple weeks of January, I've decided that I cannot live 2022 the same way. It's got to be better, and that's in my hands. As any mom can relate, you live so much of your life for your kids - of course, I'd do anything for them! Love them more than life itself. But, it's easy to lose yourself, especially in the last couple of years (hello, pandemic anyone?) I haven't made myself and my mental health a priority, and it's definitely taken its toll.
Photography for me can be so therapeutic in that it truly is something I love so much. The plan right now is to take a bit of time in a slower season to revamp and organize lots of things, personally and professionally, and start back refreshed in so many ways by springtime. Although healing has no real timeline, I have confidence that I'll be headed in a much better direction by then. Thanks so much if you've read this whole thing - being this transparent is so difficult for me (but it's part of my goal for this year, too, so!)
Love and shared happiness to all of you,
Bree
