12/08/2025
Itās time I do a little life update on here!
Iāve been a little (okay a lot) MIA over the summer/ busy season. I have been wanting to share why but couldnāt quite come up with the right words. Sooo many amazing women and mamas follow my page so I specifically wanted to make this post in hopes of if anyone is going through something similar, youāre not alone.
Trigger warning: pregnancy loss & prental depressionšš¤
This summer after months of trying, we found out that we were pregnant with our third baby. We were SO excited and were daydreaming about what our life as a family of 5 would soon look like.
We told our family and closest friends that we were expecting a sweet new addition, had doctorās appointments, blood draws, all of the things. We soon found out that I was losing the pregnancy.
As a woman, there is something so āshamefulā about hearing those words. Although why? Our bodies created a life. A life that was just too beautiful for this world. Itās something thatās looked at as ātabooā to talk about. But I soon found out that so many more people go through this heartbreak than you even know. I want more people to talk about it so others donāt feel so alone!
All of this happened at the beginning of my mega busy time with weddings and sessions. I compartmentalized all of my feelings and almost didnāt allow myself to sit in my emotions and the realness of what had happened. The week of my miscarriage I shot two pregnancy announcements and three newborn sessions along with many others. Thatās an emotion I didnāt think about having to deal with as a family photographer. You just show up for your clients and escape your reality for an hour. I LOVE that I get to capture these moments for my amazing clients and wouldnāt have it any other way, but I didnāt think about that pill Iād have to swallow!
Fast forward a month later and we found out that we were expecting again with our rainbow baby. The best, most amazing news in a time of darkness and uncertainty.
Although so much happiness and joy was placed in our lives again, no one prepares you for the pregnancy that comes after a loss. The CONSTANT anxiety, the retaking of pregnancy tests over and over and over, the wanting to be excited but not letting yourself get there because you know what the future could hold. Youāre just trying to get through to the next appointentment while holding your breath just praying that you will hear a heartbeat.
It was and has been a time where I have felt like my head is constantly under water, just trying to get through each day for my two (wild) toddlers and husband. It has been HARD. And thatās okay.
So friends, thatās where Iāve been. It hasnāt been pretty and I KNOW Iāve been MIA. I grinded out my BUSIEST season Iāve ever had thanks to the most amazing clients and now friends! I didnāt even have to show up on socials to fill out my schedule and for that, youāll never know how beyond grateful I am.
If youāve read this far, thank you. Thank you for listening to my raw and real life emotions. And thank you for your continued support. It means the absolute world to me and my family.
So in short, Baby Merritt will be making their arrival in the spring and we couldnāt be more in love with our rainbow baby alreadyš„²
I just want you to know that if you have been in a similar situation with loss, youāre not alone in your feelings. And ALL feelings are valid. Please allow yourself the space and time to feel the things. Sending you virtual hugs š¤š