Bobbie Deuel Photography

01/26/2025

🪶🤗❤️📷

11/12/2023

Modeling accountability for children is SO important for healthy development - attachments/relationships

Brian, 32, grew up in a home with a hyper-domineering father.

He prioritized “strength” and often went on rants about people who he called lazy. He saw work as the only way to show love. And deeply lacked emotional awareness.

His father was extremely tough on all of his sons. He believed he was preparing them for the real world. His mother regularly fawned around him. Appeasing his way of thinking and disciplining their children.

When Brian’s dad gets mad at anyone he is controlling and domineering. Afterwards, he’ll stew with anger for days giving the silent treatment. One day, he’ll talk again as if nothing happened. He never resolved conflict.

By his teen years, Brian has witnessed this cycle between his mother and father dozens of times.

Brian is dating Kim. He loves her and is dedicated. But he deeply struggles emotionally. He often ignores Kim’s feelings, doesn’t consider her perspective, or tells her “she’s just too sensitive.” Kim is getting to her breaking point. She doesn’t know if she can continue a relationship with someone so dismissive of his impact.

Even when Brian knows he’s wrong, he won’t apologize. He has never been taught to take accountability. He’s learned from watching his father that the emotions of another person are irrelevant and a burden.

That the only way to deal with someone else’s feelings is to deny them or to avoid them.

In his mind Kim is the issue. He is used to women more like his mother— who appease.

He isn’t aware the true issue is he hasn’t leaned how to attune to another persons emotions. How to make a women feel emotionally safe.

He hasn’t leaned apologizing and taking ownership isn’t a weakness, it’s emotional maturity.

Something is father lacked.

He hasn’t learned a relationship requires more than just providing financially

11/12/2023

So true ❤️

11/12/2023

Look how far you’ve come! ❤️

11/12/2023

If you ask questions that require only a yes or no answer, you hinder conversations before they can begin. You can accidentally close the door that you want to open.

It is very difficult to share your thoughts and emotions by answering yes or no questions, but with open-ended questions, the door for a deeper connection is unlocked.

11/12/2023

"Develop enough courage so that you can stand up for yourself and then stand up for somebody else." Thank you for your courage and service. Happy Day! -The estate of Dr. Maya Angelou

11/12/2023

https://music.apple.com/us/album/broken-beautiful/1175300285?i=1175300391

11/12/2023

Superman and Wonder Woman might enjoy superhuman strength, but for the rest of us, our powers are deeply human. Learning to notice and label our emotions can change everything. Without this skill, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by our feelings, buffeted around like a leaf in a storm. But just noticing what we’re feeling, specifically and thoughtfully, creates space that allows us to still the internal chaos.

If you’ve ever shouted at your child for running into the street or cried when having an angry argument with a loved one, you’ve likely experienced the confusion of mis-identifying emotions. Realizing that your sudden rage is actually fear and worry, that your tears are actually frustration, rather than sadness, changes how you respond to the situation.

By naming your emotions, you take the first step toward unlocking your values. Imagine that you feel stressed at work (not hard, right?). Upon closer examination, maybe you realize that you actually feel frustrated that you cannot pursue the higher level work you crave. That realization points you toward a need (intellectual stimulation) and a value (continual growth). From there, you can make choices that bring you closer to your values: asking for more challenging tasks, signing up for a night class, or seeking a promotion. When you accurately label your emotions, they light the path toward a life that’s rooted in your values and uniquely yours.

11/12/2023

11/06/2023

Come on down to the Vestal Public Library from 6pm - 7:30pm on Monday November 6th. The therapy dogs will be there waiting to hear some stories!!