01/27/2020
It’s kind of hard to not be sappy or melodramatic about Solo and I, so here goes. Over the last month and a half, I’ve slowly returned to riding after a serious fall in September that left me with two fractured vertebrae. I’ll be 100% honest, I distinctly remember lying in the dirt after that fall saying “I’m done”. And the weeks that followed I secretly followed that narrative in my head...the fear that resided in me after that was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Even with Solos diagnosis of severe ulcers (and a reason behind why he acted that way) I wasn’t certain I’d mentally be able to get back in the saddle. Over several months I worked on healing up, and Solo went into training. I would visit him and the barn but it didn’t feel the same. I had to get back to a point where I was excited to ride, excited to build that partnership and trust up again. Late December I felt strong enough to try getting back on, and started back on a different horse other than my own, which my trainers highly recommended. Finally, about four weeks ago, I felt ready. Scared as hell but with that small quiver of excitement to be back with Solo, I hopped on. My expectations were low and my anxiety high, but we got through that first ride. Fast forward to this weekend, and I trotted my boy around, and even took some canter steps. And it felt GREAT. While the worrier in my brain is rushing through all of the questions about what the next step will be and how we will manage to get back to where we were and and and...there’s a new part of me that knows none of that matters right now. Or maybe at all. What matters is this next ride and what I want to do to HAVE FUN in that ride. How I can bring that enjoyment and ease back into the saddle. How I can listen to my horse for what he needs and what he’s telling me before he has to blow up to show me. How I can be in the moment and feel the confidence and strength that comes with working with horses. That’s what it’s all about and why we love what we do and why no matter what our brains may tell us through fear, our hearts will always be louder to remind us that there’s no turning away from something that is engrained in us. ❤️