https://www.facebook.com/201049996599814/

RnM Photography, Denver, CO (2026)

05/23/2024

All packed for my trip to San Jose, will be at Fanime on Friday!

07/27/2022

A letter from my friend, owner of Boss Stage.

Hello Everybody, It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on social media, but I wanted to finally reach out and share what has been going on with me for these past two years. Very few of you have heard directly from me about what has happened, and many of you have heard through other people or.....

03/28/2021

Life’s not fair.

05/19/2020

I normally don't use my photography page for personal stuff, but since I've currently semi-shutdown my personal page I will post this here.

In the overall of things, I've not been doing well. The near social isolation has made my depression/anxiety worse. Most of my dreams have been super weird/scary/sad, including three that involved COVID-19. I've had thoughts of su***de popping in and out in irregular frequency.

And I've become more angry about the situation.

Let me be very clear: I am frustrated by the inaction to respond to the virus until march. There was so much we should've done, but didn't.

I've also been against the lockdown, period. On a personal level, a lot of my anxiety has been towards the future of a good friend's small business (which I have an invested interest in). In bad times, small businesses are the most vulnerable.

On an academic/political level, My mind runs many questions. What are the economics ramifications in the short and long run? Is it constitutional? Is this the best policy decision unilaterally? Could other negative consequences arise? etc.

This leads to my general stance, regardless if I wind up being right or wrong in the end.

But economics is the biggest issue, it was my field of study after all. And given the complexity of economics as a whole, I've come to believe the response is just as bad if not worse to the prior inaction.

Of course, this is just my intellectual thoughts.

My emotional ones.....who boy.

I've already established I have serious depression, but I am also slightly autistic.

And probably a few other things as well.

That's why inwardly, I am super down on myself. Even if others think good things about me, if they saw how my analytical/intellectual mind worked, they would think me as a heartless monster.

So I try my best not to be open about that part of my mind.

But alas, I let that bottle burst for whatever reason, be it anger or frustration.

And bridges burn, which in the long term hurt me more and a negative feedback loop moves faster.

Which is what happened recently, but this is the worse.

I never felt more like a piece of s**t who doesn't deserve friends and probably is better dead until now.

(And of course, that's why my personal FB is semi-deactivated. I am currently more recluse until I fix myself and externals become better).

So yeah, I am a basket case right now. I do apologize to those who saw my implosion, that is something I can't take back.

Anyway, I need to seriously back off for now and work on my problems.