04/10/2024
It’s time I return to social media and it’s time to tell my stories. I’ll start with this one. 4 years ago one of the most exciting things that ever happened to me, happened. Business Insider came to me wanting to put together a piece on my work. I didn’t think life could get better than seeing my pieces and the joy infused within them being spread. Then I watched the video and it broke me. Instead of being excited for the success of my art, I was destroyed by the state of my body. I had gained so much weight, so very much. It was the outer expression of the turmoil that was brewing within and I was ashamed. I wanted to hide from the world. Then Covid happened and I quickly learned to be careful what I wished for. I never truly found my way back to where I wished to be - spreading my joy in the way I know - in yarn and with babies. I wanted so badly to begin teaching my creative process, but I couldn’t stand the woman I saw in the mirror so I refused to put her image out into the world. That meant all my images stayed hidden. Business Insider taught me that I couldn’t be separate from the art. Eventually I’d have to be part of the package.
Over the last almost two years, I’ve lost over 120 pounds. I didn’t just lose weight, I sculpted ab muscles and action figure arms. I fell in love with the soul inside and the body followed when I started treating this woman with the love she had always deserved. I’ve lived quite the adventure and I’m on quite the journey. All the paths always lead me back to this though. I love what I do. Now that I love who I am, the two can exist in harmony.
I want to be clear that I should have never feared putting myself out there. I was just as beautiful before. My outer self only reflects the love I feel from within. I don’t love myself because I’m fit. I’m fit because I love myself. It wasn’t ever about what I looked like. It was about how I defined ME.
I’ll be sharing now, all of it. Baby steps though. I don’t know how long it will take to get to where I wish to be, but I put one foot in front of the other every single day.
I’ll share how I do it - all of it. Here will be the yarn. I’ll find other outlets to share how I accomplished the rest. I have many, many stories to share - about mental health. About spiritual awakenings. About healing. About power imbalances and the trauma they create. Here though, I’ll share the stories I tell in yarn and eventually exactly how I tell them.
I thank anyone reading this for being a part of this journey. It’s only just begun and the best is truly yet to come. Stay tuned 🥰
Everyone
https://youtu.be/1FNyEUTSzfo?si=ANe7juY6gi-fhg9c