08/28/2023
okay, here we go! I’ve been wanting to make this post for a really long time, but it’s felt impossible to find the words. I’ll start by saying hiiiiiii :) it’s been over a year since I closed my books, and that feels incredibly weird to say. especially because it feels like it was just yesterday when I made the decision. I never really got to explain why I closed them, how long they’d be closed for, etc. and that’s precisely what I wanted to address in this post:
we’ll start with the big one. “why did you close your books?”
for a few reasons. the main one being my mental health. I won’t shy away from saying my first two years doing full time photos was one of the darkest and deepest depressions I’ve ever been in. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t take care of myself in any capacity. I genuinely couldn’t function as a human being, meaning my business couldn’t properly function either. keep in mind, I’m also a huge people pleaser - disappointing anyone puts the biggest pit in my stomach, it physically makes me sick. and during this entire period (which was of course my busiest yet), I couldn’t keep up with anything. I was letting people down, I was letting myself down, I was drowning and drowning fast. I knew I had to find that pause. I was thiiiiiiiiiis close to a grippy sock vacay. pairing all that with it being my first year out of college, my first year transitioning into a new lifestyle, a new home, a new career… to say it bluntly, s**t was ROUGH. so about a year ago, I decided to take a new full time position in a completely different world than photography and close my books. my heart continues to break every day knowing I’m not currently doing my art full time, but at the time, it was crucial I found some sort of stability amongst all the chaos.
next. “how long will your books be closed?”
that’s the thing… I don’t imagine my books will ever be the same. starting this week, I’ll be taking limited shoots with new clients, focusing on ones that match my own personal photography goals (goals I’m still working to fully define). I was getting burnt out booking essentially the same shoots week over week, so I decided to pivot and look into what space in the photography world I truly wanted to be in. all that to say, any past clients are always welcome to book with me (and receive 20% off your first session back!), as you’ve supported me at my worst so the least I can do is support you at my best!
“okay so? what kind of sessions are you booking then? how do I book if I want to?”
truly, it’s a case by case basis. I will say, creativity and out-of-the-box sessions are my ishhhhh and I’ll book them any chance I get. if I could do creative, styled shoots all day long… I’d be in heaven! so if you’re a business, high school/college senior, a couple, a family, or just a solo traveler wanting some more creative portraits done - I’m your girl!!! you can book with my direct booking link or shoot me a message via facebook, instagram, or my website.
and finally. thank you. to every single person who has ever booked with me, reached out to me, or supported me in any way. thank you for your kindness, your patience, your love, and your understanding. I know my photography journey is so far from over, and I can’t wait to see where the next year takes me. excited to share everything I’ve been working on, and even more excited to finally get back behind the camera and see all of you beautiful people! also, since this was a heavier post for me, I decided to post it along with some happy moments over the last year - enjoy :')
all the love, always always always.
lauren
