11/01/2025
Fall Flower Field Sessions for Survivors: Karina's Story
"Growing up, I didn’t know what love was. I would try to find it in guys who were never the ones for me. I never had the chance to see what true love looked like — I didn’t have that example in my life. All I ever saw was misery, separation, abuse, and abandonment.
Because of that, I sought male validation. I struggled with codependency and would post my body just to feel needed and loved, even if that love came from strangers.
Two years ago, everything began to change. I met a guy who I initially only wanted to be friends with. My intention wasn’t to date anyone — we’d just talk for hours, smoke together, or drink, and it felt like we deeply understood each other. Our conversations were real and deep.
A few weeks later, we ended up getting together. Everything felt so surreal. I was getting all the attention I thought I ever wanted. I felt needed. For three months, I believed everything was good — not realizing how blinded I was.
His true colors started to show, but I chose not to see them. He would lock me in rooms, tell me I couldn’t talk to anyone or see my family. If I tried, he’d say, “I just want what’s best for you.” And I believed him.
When I was around people, I couldn’t look at them or speak. I’d just stare at the floor for hours, no social interaction, slowly losing who I was. I lost friends, and eventually, I got kicked out of where I was staying. We moved into his friend’s home, and that’s when the abuse began.
The first time he strangled me with a charging cord. He’d slap me, push me into walls — no care in the world until I said I was leaving. Then he’d get on his knees, cry, and say he was sorry. But every time, it was the same cycle. I got used to the abuse because I’d come to expect it — until one day, I couldn’t anymore.
Something inside me broke, but not in a way that destroyed me. It was like God was whispering, “You don’t belong here.” That day, I finally walked away. I didn’t have everything figured out — I was scared, hurt, and confused — but I knew I couldn’t keep living like that. I was tired of crying myself to sleep. I was tired of believing that pain was love.
Leaving wasn’t easy. I had to rebuild from nothing — emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I had to face the truth about what I allowed and learn to forgive myself for staying as long as I did. Healing didn’t happen overnight. Some days I still questioned my worth. But with time, I started to see that what happened to me didn’t define me.
God began to show me what real love is — not the kind that hurts or controls, but the kind that restores, heals, and protects. I learned to love myself again. I found peace in His presence and strength in His promises.
Now, I’m no longer that broken girl searching for love in the wrong places. I’m a woman who knows her worth, who knows that love should never come with pain or fear.
I want my story to remind others that no matter how dark it gets, there’s always light — and that light is Jesus.
What the enemy meant for harm, God truly turned for good. I’m still healing, still growing, but I’m free — and that freedom is something I’ll never take for granted again."
