10/23/2026
If I could sit down and have a conversation with my younger self, I think we’d both have a few things to say.
I’d find that young man who was lost, hurting, struggling with addiction, and wondering if his life would ever amount to anything. The one who had made so many mistakes that he couldn’t imagine a future worth looking forward to. I’d sit down beside him and tell him, “Buddy, I know things are hard right now. I know you’re tired. I know you feel like you’ve messed up so badly that there’s no coming back from it. But please don’t give up. Life gets so much better.”
I imagine he’d look at me and ask how I could possibly know that. And I’d tell him, “Because I’ve lived every bit of what you’re going through. I know how much it hurts. I know how lost you feel. But there’s a whole life waiting for you that you can’t even imagine right now.”
I’d tell him that one day he’ll find his way out of the darkness. That he’ll meet an amazing woman named Jenny who will love him for who he is. That he’ll have a home, a family, and a life he never thought he deserved. I’d tell him that those sunrises and sunsets he keeps stopping to look at, even when everything around him is falling apart, are going to become something pretty special. That one day he’ll pick up a camera, start exploring Oklahoma backroads, and somehow those pictures will reach people he’ll probably never even meet. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll help someone else who’s going through their own darkness.
I’d tell him there will still be hard days. There will be heartbreak and loss. People we love won’t always be here. There will be things we can’t fix and questions we won’t have answers to. But I’d also tell him that God never gave up on us, even when we gave up on ourselves. And somehow, through all the pain and mistakes, we’re going to find our way.
Then I imagine he’d get quiet for a minute and ask me something.
“So… are we happy?”
And I think that question would hit me harder than anything else.
I’d tell him, “Yeah, buddy. We really are. We’ve got more to be thankful for than we ever imagined. But sometimes I still struggle. I worry about everything. My health, money, the future, whether I’m doing enough. Sometimes I’m so afraid of losing what we have that I forget to enjoy it.”
And I imagine he’d look at me for a moment, trying to understand.
“Wait. You’re telling me we made it? We got through everything I’m going through right now? We have someone who loves us, a home, and we get to spend our days doing something we love? And you’re still worried about what might happen tomorrow?”
And I don’t know that I’d have a very good answer for him.
Then I think he’d tell me something I probably need to hear.
“Don’t get so lost worrying about tomorrow that you forget you’re living the life I was praying for today.”
And just imagining that conversation makes me emotional. Because that younger version of me would’ve given anything to have the life I have right now. He would’ve never believed that the same skies he looked toward when he felt so hopeless would someday become such a big part of his life.
I spend a lot of time thinking about where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. But sometimes I think I get so caught up worrying about where I’m going that I forget to appreciate where I am.
I guess if I could tell that younger version of myself one last thing, it would be, “You’re going to be okay, buddy. Just hang on. There’s so much beauty ahead of you. One day you’ll understand why you kept looking toward those sunrises and sunsets, even when you couldn’t find much hope anywhere else.”
And I imagine he’d look back at me and say…
“Then please don’t waste the life we’re fighting so hard to have. Enjoy it. Be thankful for it. And don’t forget about me, because I’m the one who dreamed of everything you have today.”
Maybe that’s something I needed to hear from him more than he needed to hear from me.
If you don’t know my story, “My why” it’s pinned at the top of my page.
