03/16/2026
Last week I did my first solo photography trip since being diagnosed with fibromyalgia three years ago. I drove two hours to Middle Creek Wildlife Management Area, a popular spot for Snow Geese migration. The Snow Geese weren’t as numerous when I visited but I enjoyed watching the swans fly overhead and listening to pheasants in the fields surrounding the water, where geese and ducks frequented. I spent two days there, experimenting with in-camera multiple exposures and slow shutter speeds.
Unfortunately, I had immense pain during my trip. Photography is like a drug to me - I’m addicted but it hurts me physically. It’s hard to take a break when opportunities for photos are available, and I tend to hyperfocus when photographing. When I would finally got back to the hotel room, it felt like I had not only been run over by a truck, but also dragged behind it. The pain and weakness can sometimes be unbearable, even when I try to ultilize mindfulness and other techniques.
It is hard when I love something so much and it brings me so much pain.
Still, I want to try a solo trip again. I didn’t get eight hours of sleep each night and that usually makes a big difference with my pain. Though I had so much pain, the addiction means I still want to try again. I’m very determined.
I will never stop taking pictures, because it has always been my biggest passion. I’ve been doing more macro photography and focus stacking in my room at home and though it can bring pain too, it’s better than using a long, heavy telephoto lens. Besides taking pictures, I’ve enjoyed finding insects, fungi and lichens on walks around my neighborhood. I use my phone and find things to post on iNaturalist.
Being in nature helps my pain and calms my body. And when I’m not in nature, I’ll use grounding memories of being in nature to help me when I have flare ups.
I’ve also enjoyed making electronic music on my laptop, and I hope that I can eventually pair this with a video of wildlife.
It’s been stressful trying to find jobs that work for me but I am hopeful that in the future I will find my niche. I am fortunate that I can live with, and have the support of my parents.
