03/17/2024
I posted this in my bo***ir group and I thought I would take the scary plunge and share it with everyone.
My why for Bo***ir Photography:
Growing up I never thought I was pretty enough. My adopted mother would always pick on me. She always called me scabatha, made fun of my teeth, always made me feel I was horrible kid. Made me feel dumb and ugly. It stuck with me for a long time and I’d be lying if I didn’t say sometimes, it still haunts me to this day. I never felt pretty or beautiful, never had big enough b***s. All my friends were gorgeous with pretty eyes, blue eyes, big b***s, or had super nice teeth. It lead to me having depression and anxiety and worst of all eating disorders.
I remember not being allowed to go to the bathroom for AN HOUR after I ate because of it. I remember the feeling to this day of how I felt after I did what I needed to do. It was like a “high.” Eventually I grew out of it, but I couldn’t gain weight for life of me after my eating disorder. Even after that Most of it followed me into adulthood.
I had kids young, 22 & 25 then I really felt uncomfortable in my own body. My pre kid pancake b***s became “saggy” after kids. I truly thought I was fat and ugly. I could hear my adopted mother’s voice in your head, I had flash backs, I feared her it was all so bad I became the most self conscious person you have ever met. I swear it ruined a lot friendships and relationships because of mental tolls it takes on you.
When you don’t see your own self worth how is someone else supposed to see it in you?
I’ve never been obese, but I wasn’t the 95 pound teenager/ young adult anymore. My body matured and it changed. I could only see the number on my scale. I mean common how can one be soooo fixated on just a number?? Well that was me for years.
I mentally changed into a person I hated inside and out. I hated the person staring back at me in the mirror.. I blamed her for everything.
People would tell me to work out and you’ll lose the weight. I mean yes you can lose weight but you can’t just lose a ton of skin, it’s not like it’s fat. The damage of it all. I’d be lying to you if I told you I’m no longer self conscious, because I am! I’m still working on it, healing and fixing me.
I'm here to join forces and boost your confidence, something I longed for. Let's travel together on your self-love adventure. We're all unique in form and size. It's about cherishing who you are and honoring your true beauty. Let me help uplift you to view yourself in a new light.
