02/11/2026
Happy 6 months my love 🌺
I was reading my diary on this day last year. I was 14 weeks with you and fully convinced that you weren’t alive anymore. I had a horrible dream I had miscarried you the night before. I hadn’t felt you kick in a few days, which was totally normal given how small you were, but I couldn’t be reasoned with until I heard your strong heartbeat. It felt crazy to write down “we gave Eden avocado for the first time today,” and “we went to her 6 month appointment” underneath what I had written a year prior. It’s hard to fathom the lifetime I’ve gotten of 6 months with you outside the womb. So. Much. Life. And God willing we get so much more. Every moment is a gift I cherish, the challenging and the joyful. The exhausting and the exciting. It’s what I prayed for. And the grief continue to come layer by layer, building on top of my ache for your brother. I cannot mother you without him. And I cannot mother him without you. You two are my babies and I’m so grateful to be your mama in all of its heartache and complexities. Thank you for choosing me and looking at me with eyes of love that is melting the coldest and most frozen over parts of my soul.
