Loco Love Photography

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Loco Love Photography

It’s Alisha or Leesh � , and yes I'm a little loco. I run Loco Love photography, where I capture beautiful moments of life

02/11/2026

Happy 6 months my love 🌺
I was reading my diary on this day last year. I was 14 weeks with you and fully convinced that you weren’t alive anymore. I had a horrible dream I had miscarried you the night before. I hadn’t felt you kick in a few days, which was totally normal given how small you were, but I couldn’t be reasoned with until I heard your strong heartbeat. It felt crazy to write down “we gave Eden avocado for the first time today,” and “we went to her 6 month appointment” underneath what I had written a year prior. It’s hard to fathom the lifetime I’ve gotten of 6 months with you outside the womb. So. Much. Life. And God willing we get so much more. Every moment is a gift I cherish, the challenging and the joyful. The exhausting and the exciting. It’s what I prayed for. And the grief continue to come layer by layer, building on top of my ache for your brother. I cannot mother you without him. And I cannot mother him without you. You two are my babies and I’m so grateful to be your mama in all of its heartache and complexities. Thank you for choosing me and looking at me with eyes of love that is melting the coldest and most frozen over parts of my soul.

01/21/2026

163 days of breastfeeding. Grateful for every single one. Joyful for every time I’ve had to pull over to feed, whip out the b**b in the back seat, on airplanes, in rocking chairs, on couches, benches, in carriers, in the grass, in a booth, in the middle of the night, everywhere and anywhere. All to feed and nourish you, my Eden. Shortly after Malakai passed, God gave me a vision. I was sitting in a rocking chair on a front porch in heaven, I was nursing Mal. I knew then that all the things I missed out with him in this life would be redeemed in the next. For now, He has redeemed my breast feeding journey. While I didn’t get to do it with Mal here on earth, I have the honor of feeding his little sister 😭 the tiny ring in wearing in the photos is a milk ring I have for Mal. Gosh I love my babies so much!

01/11/2026

Cheers to 5 months with Eden Kai 🌺
This past month was SO fun and SO challenging. The four month sleep regression came in hot. At the same time we got a bad diaper rash and sick for the first time. This girl took it all like a champ, we can’t say the same for mommy 😂 the lack of sleep and sunshine made my grief very loud and it triggered some PPA & PPD. We are so thankful for our village who takes care of us. I look at this girl with so much wonder and awe. I’m still amazed that she’s here. I spent all of last year wondering if I would get to raise her. It all feels like a dream and I find myself wondering how Malakai would be at this age and what challenges we would have faced with him. It makes me sad but I also get to see him in his sister which is such a beautiful thing. I’ve found that motherhood in all its forms is as deep with joy as it is with sorrow. What a gift it is to love so intensely.

12/25/2025

Merry Christmas, from Malakai & Eden 🦋 🌺

12/22/2025

Silent Night is my favorite Christmas song. Since Malakai died, this season feels heavy. And every Christmas song has a new meaning to it. A deeper and more sad meaning. I’ve been wrestling on how I have to sit with this tension for the rest of my life. The ache of always missing him here on earth, the hope of seeing him again one day in heaven. They say “it’s the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many it’s not. For many are missing babies and loved ones. For many are missing the hopes and dreams they once had. For many are grieving loved ones who are still alive. For many are wrestling with God and screaming at Him in the silence. But He’s there in the silence sitting with us. Weeping, holding, and loving us in the silence. 😭 🩵

12/12/2025

4 months of Eden 🌺
There are no words that could truly describe the joy this little girl brings us. The way she smiles. The way she giggles. The way she looks at me when I’m nursing her. The way she looks at daddy when he comes home from work. The way that she keeps growing. It all feels surreal. After not getting to do any of this with Malakai, it feels like such an immense honor and privilege to watch her to continue to LIVE.

11/22/2025

Our rainbow girl 🌈 I have a complicated relationship with the term “rainbow baby.” On one hand, it’s a beautiful representation of life that can come after loss. On the other hand, it doesn’t take away any of the pain. More than anything, I like to focus on how God sent a rainbow as a promise to us of His covenant. He is faithful to His promises; that He will never leave us or forsake us. I can’t tell you He promises more children. I can’t tell you He promises full healing this side of heaven. I can’t tell you He promises a life without tragedy. His promise is that even in the storm He will send a rainbow reminding us that He is with us and He will make all things new on earth AND in heaven.

11/14/2025

The rain, the sunshine, the rainbow. Grief and motherhood hold all of these moments. The ache of knowing that we’ll never have a complete family photo doesn’t take away from celebrating both of our babies—in heaven and on earth. Malakai and Eden, the ones who define us as parents. The joy our children bring us is a sacred and loving gift from God. To extend and trust us to steward our children, His children, is a deep, unconditional paternal love from Him. I will forever be in awe of this calling. Even in the middle of the valley of death, even on the mountain tops. In the joy. In the sorrow. In the questions. In the answers. Our sweet family of four 🌈 🪽 🌺 🦋

11/11/2025

Three months with our favorite girl. 🌺 She’s changing our world and teaching our hearts to experience and accept joy again. Everyday we wonder what it would be like to have Malakai kissing Eden’s feet and trying to play with her. But I think he is, in all the butterflies, rays of sunshine, and giggles in her sleep. He’s here—cheering his little sister on! She’s ready to roll any day now, two feet long, babbling like crazy, tolerating the car seat (most days), and getting some nice rolls!

10/22/2025

The birth of our girl Eden Kai. 🌺 🌈
I don’t think I could ever fully convey what it took to get here. After nearly a year and half of sitting in deep grief and 9 long months of pregnancy after loss she was roared into the world in the early morning hours on August 10th. 9 days past her “guess date.” Labor was a whirlwind and I feel like its intensity was a mirror of my grief for Malakai. It was a home birth, not our home, but a stranger who opened up her home and heart because of her love of Christ. An anointed home with shalom peace that made it possible for me to give birth again. The Holy Spirit was truly felt by all of us—even when we were met with our greatest fears. I think God had to take us there to show us that things could be different. That Eden’s story would be different. I believe pregnancy and birth is the closest I’ll ever get to heaven. I have stepped on the threshold between two realms and I’m tethered there. One baby on earth and one in heaven. The gratitude I feel for my birth team is indescribable, it’s a level of care so holy and sacred words could not come close. Ranelle walked with me through both of my pregnancies and has shown up in the depths of my grief. Her, Joy, Bethany, and the rest of the team have held me in a way that only women can do. This midwifery is truly a ministry. When I prayed for God to give me a good midwife with Malakai I never thought I’d end up here. He is so good. As I mother in the physical and in the spiritual I have more questions for God than ever. Maybe some of them will be answered here, but I know all of them will be when my race is finished. Jesus and Malakai were in the room with us. I thank God for that.

Blessed by my beautiful birth team:on.the.inside

10/11/2025

Two months 🌺 two months of you GROWING. LIVING. BREATHING. GIGGLING. SMILING. CRYING. HEALING. GRIEVING. I’ll never take any of this for granted. Your brother paved the way in every facet, including how we approach parenthood. We cherish our time with you sweet Eden. Thank you for giving us your life and making Malakai proud. You brought a little bit of heaven to earth and it makes me feel so much closer to your brother.

09/12/2025

Happy one month my Eden. Yesterday you turned one month.
One month of being alive.
One month of breathing.
One month of giggling.
One month of breastfeeding.
One month of sleepless nights.
One month of diaper changes.
One month of watching you grow.
One month of healing.
One month of missing your brother more than I thought possible.
I have already been given more than a lifetime of memories with you but I’m so grateful to get more. Thank you Jesus. I’m still wrestling with God so much. Why isn’t Malakai here too? That question may never get answered this side of heaven but I will still wrestle with my Creator anyways ❤️

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Boulder, CO

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http://www.locolovephotography.com/

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