10/09/2020
I thought long and hard about what I would write when this wedding was ready to be shared... but I decided to land with the truth.
This year has been exceptionally hard on me. I have suffered a lot with my C-PTSD and all the unwanted side dishes that come with this meal. I started to feel that there was no light left. (I have heard this shared by many during this year)
During the covid style wedding planning I did with these two (and there was a lot, thank you covid for changing things every other day) I found hope. Now, there is ALWAYS hope around you but with CPTSD (or any PTSD) it is almost impossible to see or feel during flashbacks. These two, however, seem to shine so brightly that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel every time I chatted with them. I am unable to put to words how deeply working with them has impacted me.
The setbacks to my life have been unreal over the last year and a half, the pains I have driven through have cut me deeper than I have ever felt. I was nearing a breaking point...and then came Chad and Karen. They didn't give up on their wedding celebration. Chad, through his military service, (thanks for your service) understood PTSD. Karen, through her kindness and empathy ~ as well as dealing with the massive upheaval to her wedding dreams ~ seemed to hug me full of hope. Their wedding was nearly completely changed from the time we met to the day of the wedding and yet it was far more than they realize to so many people.
I spoke with so many people, that recognized the meaning of my "semi-colon" tattoo who told me they were glad I was still here. They hugged me and said they loved and appreciated me. They validated me and told me I mattered. During these brief interactions with their family and friends I learned that almost everyone is suffering from this year and each and every one of them told me that they had gained sight of light again from Karen and Chad and the love they felt that day. Every one of them said that they could keep moving forward due to the normalcy and taste of pure human kindness and decency that they got to feel from Karen and Chad that day.
Thank you guys, for loving each other and pushing on. You gave so much more than you know this fall. Congrats. I love you both.
I am honored that you chose me to photograph your wedding, honored to be your friend, honored to know you.