10/28/2025
The Fathers.
I’ve spent a lot of time with my couples talking about relationships they don’t have. I relate to this - I stopped talking to my dad years ago. I had an incredible dad. He was strong, caring, loving, supportive. He was my hero, but as addiction took him, he wasn’t my dad anymore.
Because of this estrangement, I’ve been able to naturally be there for those that have complicated relationships or none at all. I’ve hugged brides who teared up moments before the aisle. I’ve had deep chats with those whose parents weren’t supportive of their marriage. I’ve steered parents away from couples the second I get that look. I’ve grabbed the tissues, held the hands, and given the reassuring glances when things get tough.
But that doesn’t stop me from noticing the other option.
The fathers that remind me of who my dad used to be. The ones that are the biggest fans, the proudest parents, the most supportive dads.
Where will he be? How will he act? Will I get to hear how proud he is of you? Will he tear up during your first dance, then lose it once it’s their turn? Will I hear the shake in the voice during their speech?
When I see those dads, I seek them out. I go chat with them to hear about the jacket they had custom made in hopes of wearing it for each of their children’s weddings. The ones who can’t help but share their favorite stories of their children growing up, pulling up photos on their phones to make the stories come to life. The ones who spend hours making all the desserts for the wedding by hand. The ones who bring the bottle of champagne they’ve been saving just for this occasion.
This is my ode to them. And to mine.
