09/01/2026
“There’s a reason they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first on an airplane.”
Something a friend said to me recently, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
When those masks drop, the instructions aren’t to make sure everybody else is okay first.
No one says help everyone around you and then, if there’s enough oxygen left, take care of yourself.
It’s PUT YOUR OWN MASK ON FIRST.
Not because you matter more than everyone else, but because you can’t help anyone if you can’t breathe.
And whew.
How many of us, especially women AND especially moms, are walking around taking care of everybody else while we’re gasping for air?
The kids are okay.
Our spouse is happy.
The appointments are made.
The work gets done.
The texts get answered.
The plans get made.
The birthdays get remembered.
Everybody feels loved.
Everybody has what they need.
And somewhere along the way, we start treating our own needs like they’re optional.
Rest can wait.
The appointment can wait.
The boundary can wait.
The thing we enjoy can wait.
WE can wait, because somebody else needs us.
But maybe taking care of yourself isn’t the opposite of taking care of the people you love.
Maybe it’s part of it.
Maybe putting your oxygen mask on first looks like saying no.
Asking for help.
Protecting the empty space on your calendar.
Making the appointment you’ve been putting off.
Stepping back from something that constantly drains you.
Going to bed instead of doing one more thing.
Letting someone be disappointed because you simply don’t have the capacity this time.
Doing something that makes you feel like YOU again.
Not mama, wife, daughter, friend, employee, business owner, or caretaker.
Just YOU!
Because there will always be another task. Another obligation. Another person who needs something.
And I still want to show up for the people I love. I want to be generous, dependable, and present.
But I’m realizing I can’t keep showing up well for everyone else while quietly disappearing from my own life.
You don’t have to suffocate to prove you love someone.
Put your oxygen mask on first, THEN help the people you love with theirs.