facesoffortitude

05/06/2026

M

The next two sessions I will be sharing over this month, are both people who recently lost their brothers. I knew going into them it would be a tender day for me, and in the past I would have avoided scheduling two stories back to back that were so similar to mine, but quite honestly I enjoy the deep dive into feelings that can happen when two people have similar intersections in their grief timelines....

The next two sessions I will be sharing over this month, are both people who recently lost their brothers. I knew going into them it would be a tender day for me, and in the past I would have avoid…

10/20/2023

Aaron and I met in the music scene over a decade ago. Thanks to the powers of social media, we have stayed in each other's sights over the years, mutually respected acquaintances with loads of friends in common.

In 2019, two years after starting this project, I got a FB message from Aaron, wanting to share with me a piece they wrote about the su***de of their mother, that was published on Medium. I remember being shocked that this person I had known on the periphery for so many years, shared such a similar painful life detail with me. It truly further proves the fact that we really have no idea what grief another person may be going through or what wounds they may be reacting from...UNLESS we are willing to have the level of discomfort that these conversations usually create within us.

One of the things Aaron shared with me during their shoot that hit the direct center of my heart, was how they keep the love and memory of their mom alive with their own child:

“I’ve done some things for myself to keep the memory of my mom present. To not make it about her absence. So for example I will take my daughter to a bookstore, and tell her to pick out some books she wants. Then I will buy them and tell her they are from her grandma. So she knows the love is there. We keep them alive because they were here to love us. They were here because we are here! We exist because of other people.” - Aaron Starkey

The rest of Aaron’s portraits, my photographers notes and poignant quotes from Aaron captured during their session can be read on the full post via the Faces of Fortitude website. Free to read, no paywalls needed. Linked below.

Thank you again to Aaron, for trusting me with your story and sharing the memory of your mother. We are so grateful to have you as part of the project. 🖤

http://facesoffortitude.art/aaron/

10/05/2022

I was told - after my first ever public speaking event - that I had what was called “Post Traumatic Growth”. That - I had taken the trauma of my brother su***de, and decided to learn photography and everything needed to start this project, that I was experiencing PTG. I had never heard of it at that point, and afterwards went down an internet hole of information about it and was admittedly so fascinated with what I read.

There are lots of theories and scientific experts out there that discuss the ability to tap into PTG. I have seen sites that claim to tell you “HOW” to do it, how you know WHEN you have it, and others that warn against it unless you are mentally sound. There are so many factors to consider when doing research about this phenomenon, but some of the most inspiring things I have read discuss our minds ability to transform how we think about our trauma and experience - in a way that can help us on so many different levels.

If we look at people we admire in our industries or hobbies - there are so many people who’s stories tell of their fortitude and tenacity after their traumas - moving through heartache and building something after to help themselves and others heal.

Face in this project Zak Williams , son of comedian Robin Williams has gone on to not just speak about su***de prevention but also has created herbal chews to help with anxiety.

Ashley Judd has teamed up with her sister Wynonna to do a final Judds tour - to honor their recently passed mother and has openly discussed her su***de. She is also working on changing the laws around the public documents being released after these deaths, as protection to the families.

If we think about it - we all experience this in our own ways, every day, when we chose to keep fighting, continue to move through our days, despite all we have endured.

Remember there is no way to measure healing, growth or progress. Listen to your heart and be as kind as possible to yourself.

[Photo description] Image of M Abeo in blue jeans, boots and black jacket, crouching holding a camera aimed out at the water, standing on rocks, with a wood pole behind them that states “Are You Truly Happy?”