04/07/2021
It's another goodbye for a much more rewarding hello...
As I prepare myself to say goodbye 32 and before this chapter ends, I can’t help but wonder why I’m always disappointed if a year ends without something extraordinary happening in it.
Every year I say ‘this is going to be my year’ and end up really disappointed when it ends the same way it started. It made me realize that not every year will be me my year but that doesn’t make it a bad one. Maybe this year is the boring chapter that leads to the exciting one. The chapter you skim through before you land on the chapter that makes you want to highlight every single word.
And it’s like every year God is writing a different story for me. Every year our stories don’t align. Every year we don’t speak the same language but I’m slowly coming to understand that maybe that’s okay. It’s okay that I don’t have the final say in my story. It’s okay that it’s not up to me to make certain characters stay if they’re meant to leave. It’s okay that my story is not going exactly the way I penned it.
Because at the end of the day this is just one chapter in my book. It’s only a few pages from a thousand of pages. It’s a continuation of a previous chapter or an introduction to a new one. It’s just one chapter and I’m ready to finish it.
I’m ready to close the chapter of my 32 years of existence. I’m ready to embrace everything that happened and learning to let go of what didn’t happen but I’m also learning that this is not the end of my story. This year doesn’t define me. This year doesn’t set the tone for other years. This year is not a book, it’s just a chapter, it’s just part of my story. It doesn’t have to be a turning point or the year of my dreams or the year of mad love.
It doesn’t have to be a significant year — just like novels sometimes don’t have significant chapters but they complete the story. Without these chapters, the story wouldn’t make sense. Maybe this year is insignificant but it’s essential to the next chapter, the next year, the next big thing.
Maybe the new friends I made this year will have a significant role in my life later on. Maybe that handsome stranger I met one night will not be a stranger anymore.
Maybe this year is a cause to a bigger effect.
And that’s how I’m deciding to look at it. I won’t dwell on how bad it was. I won’t say it was a year to forget. Maybe it wasn’t a year to remember but I will still embrace it as part of my story. I will look at it wisely. I will decipher the secret message it’s been trying to send me. I feel like this year is a bridge to somewhere better. It’s a stepping stone. It’s a connection to a wonderful destination.
It’s another year preparing me for the crux of my story. It’s another chapter ending so a better one could begin. It’s another goodbye for a much more rewarding hello.
